返回张宇墨学习空间

写作 · 2026-03-15

张宇墨同学的课程学习报告

雅思大作文 discuss both 题型:大学学习与直接工作两种路径的论证、段落结构和结尾立场

学员:宇墨同学 老师:Miya老师 课型:正课 主题:雅思大作文:大学学习与高中后直接工作,讨论双方观点并给出个人立场

课后复习模块

练过的材料

  • 课堂作文题:Some young people decide to go to college or university. Others choose to go straight to work as they think it is important to satisfy the needs of the society and the country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
  • 学生课堂作文片段:课堂围绕学生已写大作文进行逐段批改。

词汇和表达

  • 专业化知识
  • 专业知识
  • 学术术语
  • 职业缺口
  • Some people choose to attend university for several important reasons.
  • These abilities are not taught directly, but are developed through daily study.

纠错重点

  • different student;different 表示“不同的”,通常需要接复数。
  • the student who come;用复数 students 后,后面可以接 come,避免三单错误。
  • they don't be taught strictly;be 动词结构不能写 don't be;这里语义也应为 directly(直接地)。
  • but involve;技能作主语时,可以说“被培养出来”或“被获得”。
  • specific;specific 是“具体的”,不是“专业的”。
  • these two choices both correct;correct 更像有标准答案的“正确”,议论文观点更适合用 valuable。

可回读产出

  • 本节课写作文章改进版:Some young people choose to attend college or university, while others prefer to enter the workplace directly because they believe this can satisfy the needs of society and the country. In my view, both paths can be valuable, and a society needs a hybrid approach rather than only one type of talent.;Those who support university education have several reasons. First, universities can help students gain specialized knowledge, especially in knowledge-intensive industries where workers need professional training rather than only physical labour. For example, fields such as technology, research and academic work often require advanced knowledge and academic terms. Second, university life can also develop soft skills, such as communication with different students and the ability to do research. These abilities are not always taught directly, but they can be developed through daily study and cooperation. More importantly, university graduates may contribute to a country’s long-term development by promoting innovation, developing technology and even creating jobs in the future.

课后动作

  • 重写这篇大作文,尤其注意第二段必须围绕“满足社会和国家需求”展开。
  • 每个主体段开头先写清楚 topic sentence(主题句),再展开理由。
  • 检查全文中 knowledge、student、choice、correct 等词的重复和误用。

一、课堂推进时间轴

1

回顾题目要求与双方观点

课堂推进:课堂先重新拆解题目:一方选择上大学,另一方选择高中后直接工作,并且直接工作的原因必须围绕“满足社会和国家需求”。

老师处理:老师强调题目中第二方观点有明确原因,写作时不能写成个人赚钱、还贷款等个人追求。

老师示范 / 修改方向:第二方段落要围绕 satisfy the needs of the society and the country(满足社会和国家需求)展开。

复习抓手:审题时要区分题目有没有给出原因;题目给出的原因必须进入论证中心;不能把社会国家需求写成个人利益

2

明确文章整体立场

课堂推进:老师指出这类题目通常可以写成“两边都重要,但有一点倾向”的立场。

老师处理:老师用现实中的教育分流、职业技术路径说明上大学和直接就业都可以有价值。

老师示范 / 修改方向:最后可以写两边都重要,但要有清楚倾向,不能只说都对。

复习抓手:discuss both题目要讨论双方;结尾要有自己的明确态度;可以采用 hybrid approach(混合路径)

3

批改第一段:大学段落的内容方向

课堂推进:老师肯定学生第一段写到大学可以带来知识、硬技能、软技能和未来工作帮助,但指出需要提升词汇和社会层面的论证。

老师处理:老师概括学生第一段已有内容,并指出 knowledge 重复较多,需要更学术化表达。

学生原始输出:university is a small society where... cultivate people's ability... they have enough knowledge... ability of study... communicate with different student

老师示范 / 修改方向:knowledge 可以升级为 specialized knowledge(专业化知识)、professional knowledge(专业知识)、academic terms(学术术语);different student 应改为 different students。

复习抓手:大学段可以写专业知识、沟通能力、研究能力;同一个词反复出现时要做词汇升级;different 后面常接复数名词

4

词汇升级:专业知识与学术术语

课堂推进:老师讲解了 professional、specialized、academic term 等词,用来替换简单的“专业知识”。

老师处理:老师解释 specialized 的构词和使用场景,并举雅思写作、心理咨询等例子。

学生原始输出:s p r i c i f... specific

老师示范 / 修改方向:specific 是“具体的”,不是“专业的”;“专业的”可用 professional 或 specialized。

复习抓手:specific(具体的)不等于 professional(专业的);specialized knowledge 表示专业化知识;academic term 表示学术术语

5

补充表达:知识密集型社会和产业

课堂推进:老师补充了信息密集型、知识密集型产业的表达,帮助学生把大学知识与国家发展联系起来。

老师处理:老师说明现代社会中很多行业需要知识而非体力,大学学习可以与国家和行业需求相连。

老师示范 / 修改方向:可以写 knowledge-intensive industries(知识密集型产业)或 information-intensive society(信息密集型社会)。

复习抓手:把个人学习和社会行业需求连接起来;用具体术语提高文章信息密度;国家发展角度可以支撑大学价值

6

语法纠错:复数、三单和被动结构

课堂推进:老师集中纠正了学生作文里的复数、主谓一致、被动语态和平行结构问题。

老师处理:老师指出写作中应习惯使用复数表达普遍现象,并解释 they aren't taught directly, but are developed/acquired 的结构。

学生原始输出:different student; the student who come; they don't be taught strictly; but involve; our daily study

老师示范 / 修改方向:different students; the students who come; they aren't taught directly, but are developed through daily study.

复习抓手:议论文常用复数表达普遍情况;the students who come 可以避免三单错误;技能作主语时可用 are developed 或 are acquired;被动结构前后要平行

7

讨论 AI 例子是否削弱论证

课堂推进:学生原本想用 AI 说明能力不足会被淘汰,老师提醒这个例子容易让读者觉得大学文凭和人类知识没那么重要,因此会削弱大学段论证。

老师处理:老师分析 AI 裁员案例对论点的反向影响,并建议删除或改写。

学生原始输出:我觉得就是你要是不够强,你就被淘汰的...如果你没有这足够这些东西,你就被ai淘汰

老师示范 / 修改方向:如果保留 AI,应写成开发 AI 的公司需要高水平人才;否则容易削弱大学教育的重要性。

复习抓手:例子必须服务于本段观点;反向信号强的例子要谨慎使用;for example 后面的例子不能削弱自己的论证

8

第一段升华:从个人好处扩展到社会贡献

课堂推进:老师指出大学段不能只写个人学知识、找工作,还要写大学人才对国家未来发展的意义。

老师处理:老师示范从大学培养人才、创新、科技发展、创业和就业岗位创造等角度扩展论证。

老师示范 / 修改方向:大学培养的人才可以推动 innovation(创新)、technology development(科技发展),也可能 create jobs(创造就业岗位)。

复习抓手:雅思大作文要从个人影响升到社会影响;大学段可写人才储备和长期发展;创业者对经济的贡献可以比普通求职者更大

9

批改第二段:直接工作段落的核心问题

课堂推进:老师指出第二段应该真正支持“直接工作能满足社会和国家需求”,而不是一边写对方观点一边提前反驳。

老师处理:老师解释 discuss both 的写法:讨论某一方观点时要先完整理解并说清楚对方为什么有道理。

学生原始输出:the last part of this view is... unilateral; indeed; going to society strictly can make us acknowledge earlier; practicing is more important in some occupations

老师示范 / 修改方向:第二段要写:一些行业存在 occupational gap(职业缺口),直接就业者可以补上这些岗位,并立刻产生经济贡献。

复习抓手:discuss both 要先替对方观点说清楚;不能在支持段落里提前加入个人反驳;第二方观点要围绕社会和国家需求写

10

第二段论据补充:职业缺口与经济贡献

课堂推进:老师补充第二段可写的两个重要论据:填补职业缺口,以及通过工作、纳税、消费带来经济贡献。

老师处理:老师用水管工、技工、社会基础岗位等例子说明高中后直接工作也可以服务国家和社会。

学生原始输出:我觉得这个也是第一...我应该是从国家的角度

老师示范 / 修改方向:可以写 occupational gap(职业缺口)、boost the economy(促进经济)、pay income tax(缴纳个人所得税)、maintain social stability(维持社会稳定)。

复习抓手:职业岗位短缺是直接工作段的核心论据;经济贡献要具体到收入、税收、消费;不能只写“为国家做贡献”一句话

11

解释思辨性:完整理解不等于赞同

课堂推进:老师强调,议论文中的思辨性体现在能把自己不完全同意的观点也分析清楚。

老师处理:老师用辩论和法庭类比解释 some people、other people 与自己的观点之间的关系。

学生原始输出:那我得总总得有个判断...那就是我这段这么讲,那我下一段我讲一个就是国家要白养这帮人四年

老师示范 / 修改方向:前两段分别是 some people 和 other people 的观点,最后一段才是自己的 opinion(个人观点)。

复习抓手:讨论双方观点时不要急着审判;理解对方逻辑不代表同意对方;利弊并存不是自相矛盾

12

段落结构问题:分论点句要先出现

课堂推进:老师指出学生作文没有像提纲那样先写清楚每段分论点,而是直接进入解释,导致逻辑信号不清楚。

老师处理:老师示范每段应先告诉读者本段要讨论哪一方观点,再列出理由。

学生原始输出:university is a small society...

老师示范 / 修改方向:段首可先写:Some people choose to attend university for several important reasons. 然后再写知识、软技能、门槛和国家发展。

复习抓手:每段开头要有清晰 topic sentence(主题句);先说观点,再说理由;写作文时要按照提纲结构展开

13

结尾段批改:个人立场不清

课堂推进:老师指出学生结尾写成“努力学习、获得更多知识”,没有回答题目问的“上大学还是直接工作各自有什么价值”。

老师处理:老师要求结尾明确自己的立场,并提出 hybrid approach(混合路径)的表达。

学生原始输出:in our daily life we need to study hard... gain more knowledge... which can make us having stronger competitiveness... these two choices both correct

老师示范 / 修改方向:We should adopt a hybrid approach. These two paths can both be valuable, but the balance depends on the needs of each country.

复习抓手:结尾必须回答题目问题;不能用 study hard 替代立场;correct 不适合形容议论文观点,可用 valuable 或 sensible;choice 是名词,choose 是动词

14

内部跟进:学生对写法的接受方式

老师处理:老师多次提醒学生不要只把问题理解成“重写就行”,而要理解为什么一开始没想到。

学生原始输出:行明白了,我回重新写

老师示范 / 修改方向:老师要求学生真正理解 discuss both 的底层逻辑,而不是只做局部修改。

复习抓手:需要继续训练审题后的立场分离;需要把提纲逻辑稳定迁移到成文;需要减少只接受结论、不追问原因的改写方式

二、本节课亮点表现

本节课重点拆解了题目中第二方观点的限定:直接工作是为了 satisfy the needs of the society and the country(满足社会和国家需求),不能写偏成个人赚钱或还贷款。

老师帮助学生把“大学有用”从个人好处升级到社会层面,例如培养专业人才、推动创新和科技发展、创造就业岗位。

第二方段落补充了 occupational gap(职业缺口)、boost the economy(促进经济)、income tax(个人所得税)等更具体的论证角度。

结尾段明确应使用 hybrid approach(混合路径)这类立场:两条路都有价值,但需要说明如何平衡以及是否有倾向。

三、本节课用了哪些材料

四、学生课堂输出

大学段原始表达

university is a small society where... cultivate people's ability... they have enough knowledge... ability of study... communicate with different student

AI 例子解释

我觉得就是你要是不够强,你就被淘汰的...如果你没有这足够这些东西,你就被ai淘汰

第二方段落表达

the last part of this view is... unilateral; indeed; going to society strictly can make us acknowledge earlier; practicing is more important in some occupations

结尾段表达

in our daily life we need to study hard... gain more knowledge... which can make us having stronger competitiveness... these two choices both correct

五、本节课写作文章改进版

按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版;重点保留老师课堂讲到的大学价值、职业缺口、经济贡献和 hybrid approach(混合路径)。

Some young people choose to attend college or university, while others prefer to enter the workplace directly because they believe this can satisfy the needs of society and the country. In my view, both paths can be valuable, and a society needs a hybrid approach rather than only one type of talent.

Those who support university education have several reasons. First, universities can help students gain specialized knowledge, especially in knowledge-intensive industries where workers need professional training rather than only physical labour. For example, fields such as technology, research and academic work often require advanced knowledge and academic terms. Second, university life can also develop soft skills, such as communication with different students and the ability to do research. These abilities are not always taught directly, but they can be developed through daily study and cooperation. More importantly, university graduates may contribute to a country’s long-term development by promoting innovation, developing technology and even creating jobs in the future.

However, people who choose to work straight after school can also make important contributions. Some occupations need practical experience more than theoretical knowledge. In these fields, workers can learn through practice, training or an apprentice system. If many young people all spend several years at university, some societies may face an occupational gap, because basic but necessary jobs may not have enough workers. In addition, people who start working earlier can earn income, pay income tax and spend money in the economy. In this way, they can help boost the economy and maintain the normal operation of society.

Overall, I believe these two paths are both valuable. University education is important for developing high-level and innovative talents, while direct employment is also necessary for filling occupational gaps and supporting the economy. Therefore, governments and societies should adopt a hybrid approach and balance these two paths according to their real needs.

六、本节课纠错

原句问题推荐表达记忆方法
different studentdifferent 表示“不同的”,通常需要接复数。
the student who come用复数 students 后,后面可以接 come,避免三单错误。
they don't be taught strictlybe 动词结构不能写 don't be;这里语义也应为 directly(直接地)。
but involve技能作主语时,可以说“被培养出来”或“被获得”。
specificspecific 是“具体的”,不是“专业的”。
these two choices both correctcorrect 更像有标准答案的“正确”,议论文观点更适合用 valuable。

七、定稿作文 / 改写方向

IELTS Writing Task 2 课堂未给出学生完整最终定稿;以上为按课堂讲解方向整理的课后复习改进版。

没有足够证据生成完整定稿时,先保留待确认状态。

八、课后任务

九、方法和词汇

方法总结

  • 先审题,找出题目有没有给出原因。
  • 主体段先写分论点句,再写原因和例子。
  • 讨论双方观点时,先把对方为什么有道理说清楚。
  • 结尾段必须直接回答题目,而不是写成泛泛的学习建议。

补充词汇

  • satisfy the needs of society and the country:满足社会和国家需求
  • specialized knowledge:专业化知识
  • academic term:学术术语
  • knowledge-intensive industry:知识密集型产业
  • occupational gap:职业缺口
  • apprentice system:学徒制
  • boost the economy:促进经济
  • hybrid approach:混合路径,两种方式结合