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写作 · 2026-02-06

张宇墨同学的课程学习报告

雅思写作:动态表格小作文(澳大利亚世界遗产游客数据)+ 父母溺爱类大作文开头段

学员:宇墨同学 老师:Miya老师 课型:雅思写作 主题:动态表格小作文(澳大利亚世界遗产游客数据)+ 父母溺爱类大作文开头段

课后复习模块

练过的材料

  • 动态表格小作文手写稿(学生习作):课堂现场批改,存在数据省略、主语错误、冠词遗漏等问题
  • 写作高阶版词汇/统一替换表(学习资料):老师提到学生昨天看过,包含on/about→regarding等替换
  • 动态小作文全部语料(学习资料):老师在学习任务页中提供,含peak/bottom、主语结构、时间介词等全部表达,建议下载背诵

词汇和表达

  • the information regarding visitor statistics
  • The number of visitors to the Great Barrier Reef experienced a growth.
  • ... with the peak at 102 in 1998.
  • over the given four years
  • The table illustrates changes in the information regarding visitor statistics to various World Heritage sites in Australia.
  • The data can be roughly divided into two groups: one with an upward trend and the other with a downward trend.

纠错重点

  • 把“笔录/ below”写在无图的小作文里
  • The table illustrates the information on...
  • The visitors increased.
  • Great Barrier Reef / Shark Bay 前漏加the
  • Sweden前加the
  • 数字用波浪线或×10省略

可回读产出

  • 本节课写作文章改进版:【Task 1 动态表格小作文·课后复习改进版】;The table illustrates changes in the information regarding visitor statistics to various World Heritage sites in Australia.
  • 雅思写作Task 1 + Task 2:Task 1:动态表格(澳大利亚世界遗产游客数据)—— 课堂只完成批改与讲解,未产出最终完整版本。;Task 2:父母溺爱类议论文 —— 课堂只讲完开头段,主体段讨论在逐字稿中中断。

课后动作

  • 背诵老师提供的“动态小作文全部语料”,重点记忆 peak/bottom、主语结构、时间介词 during/over/throughout 的用法
  • 按课堂讲解的方向,把本节课小作文重写成清楚完整的纸质版或电子版
  • 提交重写版给老师批改,注意:不写below/笔录、主语用the number of visitors、多词专有名词加the、时间状语不重复具体年份
  • 先整理并熟记自己的常见错误清单(如regarding不加to、has received不用被动、born拼写等)

一、课堂推进时间轴

1

课前规范与书写提醒

课堂推进:上课先检查学生课前写好的小作文手稿,提醒下次要把题目里的“笔录”二字删掉;因为本题下方没有图,不需要写below。

老师处理:逐句看学生手写的小作文,指出“笔录”是笔误,并要求以后删除;同时对比说明题目示例有图才写below。

学生原始输出:(手写稿中出现“The table below”/“The graph below”类表述,实际题目为table且下方无图)

老师示范 / 修改方向:咱们以后每次写作文,把笔录都删了啊。他有笔录,是因为他下面有图,咱们下面没有图。

复习抓手:题目无图时不要写below/笔录;审题要看清是table还是graph

2

小作文开头段升级

课堂推进:老师带领学生把开头段中的普通表达换成更学术的写法,比如把illustrates the information on换成illustrates changes in... / information regarding...。

老师处理:示范illustrates changes in...和regarding替换on/about的用法。

学生原始输出:The table illustrates the information on visitor statistics.

老师示范 / 修改方向:咱们不是一个动图嘛,所以你可以写一个illustrates changes in...还有就是the information on那个on可以改成regarding,改成那个高级的版本。

复习抓手:illustrates changes in...(说明……的变化);on/about → regarding(关于);写作高阶版词汇就是统一替换

3

数据分组与手稿完整性

课堂推进:老师检查学生是否按“上升组/下降组”把数据分成两类,并指出手稿中数据缺失、简写过多导致AI识别困难。

老师处理:询问数据分组;展示AI识别学生手写作文的效果;指出学生数据没填全、画波浪线代替数字。

学生原始输出:The data can be roughly divided into two groups when involving the figures four...(多处数字用波浪线省略)

老师示范 / 修改方向:The data can be roughly divided into two groups...这些数据到考试都得写出来;你写的太糙了,AI识别不出来。

复习抓手:Overview段要写出分组依据;不能省略具体数据;字迹和简写影响识别与批改

4

主语错误:visitors不能上升

课堂推进:老师反复强调:小作文中上升/下降的主语必须是the number of visitors(游客数量),不能写成visitors increased(游客上升了)。

老师处理:逐句纠正主语错误,解释visitors本身不能increase/decrease,必须是number/figure。

学生原始输出:The visitors increased.

老师示范 / 修改方向:The visitors increased,这个visitors它是没有increase或者是decrease,它只能是number。所以这里边所有的句子里边都少不了the number of visitors to某个具体的景点。

复习抓手:主语必须是the number of visitors;可用the visitor number / the visitor figure / the figure for visitors替换;visitors本身不能increase/decrease

5

专有名词与冠词the

课堂推进:老师讲解:由多个普通名词组成的专有名词(如the Great Wall长城、the UK英国)前面要加the;单个词的国家名(如Sweden瑞典、Britain英国、America美国)不加the。

老师处理:以长城、the UK、Sweden为例,指出学生作文中漏加the或错加the的问题。

学生原始输出:(作文中the Great Barrier Reef/the Shark Bay等地点前漏写the;Sweden前误加the)

老师示范 / 修改方向:专有名词如果是超过一个单词构成的,它是得大写首字母,还得加个the。比如the Great Wall。UK前面加the,Sweden不加the。

复习抓手:多词专有名词前加the;单个词国家名不加the;the UK / the US 但 Sweden/Britain/America不加

6

数据单位与写法

课堂推进:老师确认学生是否理解million(百万);建议要么照抄题目给的数字写法,要么写xx million,避免自创简写。

老师处理:解释million是六个零;建议“全抄”或“1.67 million”这种规范写法。

学生原始输出:(手稿中数据用乘法/简写,如“×10”表示million)

老师示范 / 修改方向:你可以把它那个million抄下来就行。因为它的数据里边好像是有单位的,你得把那单位给它写上去。六个零。

复习抓手:million = 六个零;数字要么照抄原题,要么规范写成xx million;不要自创科学计数法或简写

7

改写主语的多种正确结构

课堂推进:老师示范如何在保持“the number of visitors”这一核心短语不变的前提下,变换句子主语:地点前置、地点当主语、时间当主语等。

老师处理:写出多个例句,展示for + place / place saw a growth / the given period witnessed等结构。

学生原始输出:(学生原稿主语单一或缺失)

老师示范 / 修改方向:For this place, the number of visitors experienced a growth. / The number of visitors to [place] experienced a growth. / [Place] saw a growth in the number of visitors. / The given period witnessed a growth in the number of visitors to [place].

复习抓手:地点可放句首:For + place, the number of visitors...;地点可当主语:Place saw a growth in the number of visitors;时间可当主语:The given period witnessed...

8

时间状语介词 during / over / throughout

课堂推进:老师区分三个时间介词:during通用、over表示过程中有起伏、throughout表示始终如此;并提醒不要再用from...to...重复具体年份。

老师处理:用具体景点(the Great Barrier Reef vs the Shark Bay)举例说明over和throughout的区别。

学生原始输出:(原稿中反复使用from 1996 to 2000,或遗漏时间状语)

老师示范 / 修改方向:during随便;over是过程中有过下降/不变;throughout是始终increase。像the Great Barrier Reef一直在上升,用throughout;the Shark Bay有升有降,用over。

复习抓手:during:通用/概括多根线;over:过程中有变化/有顶点或谷底;throughout:始终上升/始终下降;具体年份在开头段写一次即可,后面用during/over/throughout the given period

9

顶点与谷底 peak / bottom

课堂推进:老师指出学生把顶点写成turning point不恰当,小作文应使用peak(顶点)和bottom(谷底),并给出with the peak at... / which peaked at...等难度分级的表达。

老师处理:解释peak/bottom含义,展示简单版到进阶版三种写法。

学生原始输出:(学生原稿写turning point / the largest number)

老师示范 / 修改方向:顶点叫peak,谷底叫bottom。简单版:... with the peak at 数值 in 年份。进阶版:... which peaked at... / ... which bottomed at...

复习抓手:顶点=peak,谷底=bottom;简单结构:with the peak at...;进阶结构:which peaked at...(需定语从句);6分先求对,7分以上再尝试难结构

10

大作文开头段:regarding与模板修正

课堂推进:转入大作文,老师先纠正常见模板错误:regarding是介词,后面不加to,也不能直接加句子;has received attention不用被动。

老师处理:逐词批改学生开头段模板,指出regarding to、has been received、weather/whether、receive拼写等错误。

学生原始输出:In recent years, the issue regarding to that parents whether give their children... has been received...

老师示范 / 修改方向:regarding后面不加介词,等于on/about;has received attention;whether拼写是w-h-e;receive拼写是e-i。

复习抓手:regarding = on/about,后面不加to;regarding后接名词性结构,不能直接加句子;has received attention(不用被动);whether/ receive常见拼写

11

大作文开头段:简化策略与回应双问题

课堂推进:老师建议先用最简单、保证不错的方式写开头段:几乎照抄题目并改成陈述句,确保回应两个问题;还提供简单模板。提醒opinion句要区分回答的是哪个问题。

老师处理:给出极简开头模板;指出“Different people...but in my opinion, I think it is bad for children”没有同时回应两个问题。

学生原始输出:Different people have different views and distinct approaches, but in my opinion, I think it is bad for children.

老师示范 / 修改方向:最简单办法就是几乎就是抄他这个题,然后把它变成一个疑问句变成肯定句就完事儿了。This essay will analyze whether it is beneficial for children and explain what could be the consequence.

复习抓手:开头段可先“抄题”保证无错;题目问两个问题就要两个都回应;简单模板:There has been a trend that... / This essay will analyze whether... and explain what...

12

大作文主体段铺垫与拼写

课堂推进:老师开始看主体段,指出经典错误:children like paper缺少are,变成“孩子喜欢纸”;born拼写不要多加e。

老师处理:纠正like作“像”讲时要加be动词;纠正born拼写。

学生原始输出:children like a pure and white paper; when they were born(born写错,多了e)

老师示范 / 修改方向:Children are like paper. When they were born. born不要多加e。

复习抓手:like表“像”时要加be动词:be like;born拼写:b-o-r-n,不要加e

13

课后任务布置

课堂推进:因小作文错误较多且未形成完整定稿,老师布置课后任务:先背诵动态小作文全部语料,然后把小作文重写成清楚完整的纸质版或电子版,再提交批改。

老师处理:明确课后作业:背语料、重写动态表格、提交电子版或清晰纸质版。

学生原始输出:(无)

老师示范 / 修改方向:下午就是先把它给重新写一个,或者是清楚的完整纸质版,或者是一个电子版。背完了咱再改,重写这个动态表格。

复习抓手:课后先背动态小作文语料;重写一篇清楚完整的小作文;提交电子版便于批改

二、本节课亮点表现

小作文要区分table/graph,无图时不写below/笔录

开头段可用illustrates changes in...,并用regarding替换on/about

所有上升/下降的主语必须是the number of visitors(游客数量),不能写visitors increased

多词专有名词前加the(如the UK, the Great Wall),单字国名不加(如Sweden)

时间状语用during/over/throughout,具体年份只在开头段写一次

顶点用peak,谷底用bottom,避免自己造turning point

大作文开头段可先用“抄题”策略,确保回应题目两个问题

regarding是介词,后面不加to;has received不用被动

三、本节课用了哪些材料

四、学生课堂输出

小作文开头段学生原稿

存在on可替换为regarding的空间

The table illustrates the information on visitor statistics.

小作文Overview段学生原稿

后半句有笔误,且多处数据用波浪线省略

The data can be roughly divided into two groups when involving the figures four...

小作文主体段学生原稿片段

graph/table混淆、主语错误、缺少时间状语

from the first graph; We can immediately see that there was.; The visitors increased.

大作文开头段学生原稿

regarding后多to、has been received误用被动、whether/receive拼写错误

In recent years, the issue regarding to that parents whether give their children... has been received...

大作文开头/主体段学生原稿

opinion句未回应双问题;like表“像”时缺少are;born拼写错误

Different people have different views and distinct approaches, but in my opinion, I think it is bad for children. / children like a pure and white paper / when they were born(born拼写多加e)

五、本节课写作文章改进版

按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版。逐字稿在讲解大作文主体段时中断,未形成完整最终定稿,因此本改进版只覆盖小作文全文结构和大作文开头段,主体段未展开部分未作编造。

【Task 1 动态表格小作文·课后复习改进版】

The table illustrates changes in the information regarding visitor statistics to various World Heritage sites in Australia.

Overall, the data can be roughly divided into two groups: one group showed an upward trend, while the other showed a downward trend.

There was an upward trend in the number of visitors to [上升景点A] and [上升景点B] during the given period. The number of visitors to [具体景点] experienced a growth from [起始数据] to [终点数据]. Meanwhile, [另一上升景点] saw a similar growth in the number of visitors, rising throughout the given four years to reach [终点数据], with the peak at [峰值数据] in [年份].

By contrast, the number of visitors to [下降景点] followed a downward trend over the given period. It decreased from [起始数据] to [中间低点数据], before falling further to [终点数据] in [年份], with the bottom at [谷底数据].

【课堂提醒·写数字】

million是六个零;可以照抄题目数字,也可以写成 1.67 million 这种规范形式。不要自创简写。

【Task 2 大作文开头段·课后复习改进版】

题目背景:In recent years, whether parents should give their children everything they ask for or allow them to do whatever they want has received attention.

改进开头段(抄题+回应双问题):

In recent years, the issue regarding whether parents should give their children everything they ask for or allow them to do whatever they want has received much attention. This essay will analyze whether this approach is beneficial for children and explain what the possible consequences could be.

【备选简单模板】

There has been a trend that parents tend to satisfy all their children's demands. This essay will analyze whether this is beneficial for children and explain what the consequences could be.

六、本节课纠错

原句问题推荐表达记忆方法
把“笔录/ below”写在无图的小作文里
The table illustrates the information on...
The visitors increased.
Great Barrier Reef / Shark Bay 前漏加the
Sweden前加the
数字用波浪线或×10省略
反复写from 1996 to 2000
用from加时间段
把顶点写成turning point
regarding to / regarding后加句子
has been received
whether / receive 拼写
children like paper
born拼写多加e

七、定稿作文 / 改写方向

雅思写作Task 1 + Task 2 课堂未形成完整最终定稿。小作文需课后背诵语料并重写电子版或清晰纸质版;大作文主体段在逐字稿中未讲完,需下次课继续。

Task 1:动态表格(澳大利亚世界遗产游客数据)—— 课堂只完成批改与讲解,未产出最终完整版本。

Task 2:父母溺爱类议论文 —— 课堂只讲完开头段,主体段讨论在逐字稿中中断。

八、课后任务

九、方法和词汇

方法总结

  • 统一替换法:用更学术的词替换普通介词(on/about → regarding)
  • 主语固定法:动态图作文中始终保留the number of visitors这一核心短语,再变换主语或介词位置
  • 时间状语唯一化:具体年份在开头段写一次,主体段用during/over/throughout the given period替代
  • 抄题保稳法:大作文开头段可先用几乎照抄题目的方式,确保语法正确并回应两个问题
  • 难度分级法:6分先保证正确,6.5分可尝试更难表达但允许少量错误,7分要求既难又准

补充词汇

  • illustrate changes in...:说明……的变化(用于动态图表开头段);The table illustrates changes in visitor statistics.
  • regarding:关于(介词,替换on/about);the issue regarding whether...
  • the number of visitors:游客数量(动态图作文的核心主语);The number of visitors to the Great Barrier Reef increased.
  • experienced a growth / saw a growth / witnessed a growth:经历/看到/见证了一次增长(主语替换表达);The given period witnessed a growth in the number of visitors.
  • during / over / throughout the given period:在这段时间内 / 期间有起伏 / 自始至终;throughout the given four years; over the given period
  • peak / bottom:顶点 / 谷底(小作文专用表达);... with the peak at 102 in 1998.
  • million:百万(六个零);1.67 million
  • whether:是否(w-h-e 拼写);the issue regarding whether parents should...
  • receive attention:受到关注(不用被动 has been received);The issue has received much attention.