练过的材料
- 音乐销售静态图作文：复盘上一节作文中的时态、比较结构和数据表达问题
- 儿童上学交通方式图：课堂主修改材料，练习分组、占比表达和总结段
- 静态饼图 production / consumption / profit：引入饼图写法和百分比表达
写作 · 2026-01-28
张宇墨同学的课程学习报告
雅思小作文静态图：复盘柱图写作错误，修改交通方式图，并学习静态饼图的占比写法。
课后复习模块
词汇和表达
- feature 是“特点”，交通方式要用 mode/means of transport。
- same 是完全相同，similar 是相似。
- 图表只能证明是否走路，不能证明是否愿意。
- 总结段可以换词，减少重复。
- 用于说明某个数据是销量（sales，销量）并达到某个数值。
- 用于说明百分比（percentage，百分比）达到某个数值。
纠错重点
- which involves；which involved；图表描述的是过去年份或当时分组。
- sales exceeded pop music；sales exceeded that of pop music；销量要和销量比较。
- the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million；classical music was the most popular, with the sales standing at 4.5 million；读者需要知道 4.5 million 指的是 sales。
- walking was the dominant feature；walking was the dominant mode of transport；feature 是特点，不是交通方式。
- however ... still；similarly ... still；前后相同趋势应使用 similarly。
- hardly anyone was willing to walk；hardly anyone walked；图表不能证明学生是否愿意走路。
可回读产出
- 本节课写作文章改进版：The chart illustrates how children travelled to school in 2010.；Overall, children living within two miles of school mainly travelled without vehicles, while those living farther away tended to use public transport. Hardly anyone walked when the distance was longer than three miles.
- IELTS Task 1 静态图课后复习版：The chart illustrates how children travelled to school in 2010.；Overall, children living within two miles of school mainly travelled without vehicles, while those living farther away tended to use public transport. Hardly anyone walked when the distance was longer than three miles.
课后动作
- 把交通方式图作文按课堂修改方向重新写一遍，重点检查过去式、分组逻辑和总结段。
- 把课堂上提到的静态饼图按 production、consumption、profit 三个饼分别写主体段。
- 写饼图时练习 the remaining、the remainder、consisted of、was composed of 等表达。
- 下一节课再写一个新的图表题。
一、课堂推进时间轴
1
说明本节课目标
课堂推进：本节课先复盘上节课的静态图写作，再修改新的交通方式图，最后引入静态饼图的写法。
老师处理：老师说明今天要讲静态图中的柱图和饼图，并安排课上先写饼图版本，课后再重写一遍。
老师示范 / 修改方向：静态柱图和静态饼图都要按数据特点组织；饼图通常围绕百分比和占比来写。
复习抓手：静态图要看清图表类型和数据逻辑；饼图重点是占比；课后要按课堂版本重写一遍
2
复盘音乐图作文：时态和名词搭配
课堂推进：老师先检查了上一节音乐图作文，指出分组描述中时态要和图表年份一致，名词前后搭配也要准确。
老师处理：老师纠正了 involved 的时态，并提醒 involved 后面应接 people aged...，避免把 age 用成不自然表达。
学生原始输出：among the group, which involves... the age...
老师示范 / 修改方向：the group which involved people aged 23 to 57
复习抓手：过去年份的数据通常用过去式；people aged 23 to 57 表示“23到57岁的人”；age 不能直接当名词这样接在 involved 后面
3
复盘音乐图作文：比较结构 that of
课堂推进：老师讲了比较句里常见的平行问题：销量要和销量比，不能直接把销量和音乐类型比。
老师处理：老师解释 that of 的作用，用 that 指代前面的 sales，并补上正确介词 of。
学生原始输出：sales 超过了后边那些音乐形式
老师示范 / 修改方向：that of pop music / that of other music types
复习抓手：比较对象要平行；that 可指代前面单数或不可数名词；sales 在这里用 that 指代
4
复盘音乐图作文：最后一段数据表达
课堂推进：老师指出最后一段是学生独立写的，因此问题更多，包括时态、句子完整性、数据交代不清和 same/similar 的区别。
老师处理：老师把一般现在时改为过去式，提醒 at 后面直接接数字前要先交代是什么数据，并区分 at the same level 和 at a similar level。
学生原始输出：the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million; at the same level; all almost
老师示范 / 修改方向：with the sales standing at 4.5 million; at a similar level; each accounting for nearly...
复习抓手：数据前要说明是 sales、percentage、figure 还是 number；same 表示完全相同；similar 表示相似但不一定一样；each accounting for nearly... 可表示“每项大约占……”
5
复盘音乐图作文：分数原因
课堂推进：老师解释这篇作文能写出来，但因为局部表达、时态和数据交代不够准确，会限制分数。
老师处理：老师说明内容、逻辑、词汇和语法上分别有哪些影响，并建议减少 the most popular 的重复。
学生原始输出：the most popular
老师示范 / 修改方向：the majority of people in this age group preferred classical music recordings
复习抓手：同一表达不要反复重复；可以换主语来提升句式变化；准确性比堆复杂表达更重要
6
开始修改交通方式图作文
课堂推进：老师转到新的交通方式图作文，先确认时态问题，并让学生尝试自己找出刚讲过的错误。
老师处理：老师让学生检查是否仍然犯了过去式错误，并指出开头段中 children 的年龄和 UK 不需要重复。
学生原始输出：The chart illustrates the statistics regarding the journeys to school by children h between...
老师示范 / 修改方向：children 即可；后文不必重复年龄段和 in the UK。
复习抓手：题目已给出的重复信息不要频繁再写；2010 年的数据主体部分要用过去式；开头段可以简洁改写题目
7
交通方式图：分组句和平行结构
课堂推进：老师讲解分组句要保持平行，不要为了变化而破坏结构。
老师处理：老师解释 one including..., another involving... 主要是凑够字数，但每组结构要一致。
学生原始输出：The data can be roughly divided into three groups, one including, the distance up to, another involving, the part of last is the distance more than.
老师示范 / 修改方向：The data can be roughly divided into three groups: distances up to one mile, one to two miles, and more than three miles.
复习抓手：分组句要平行；变化不是越多越好；简单但准确的结构更安全
8
交通方式图：feature 误用
课堂推进：学生把 feature 用成“方式”，老师纠正为 mode/means/method/form of transport。
老师处理：老师指出 feature 是“特点/特色”，不是“交通方式”，并补充更自然的交通方式表达。
学生原始输出：walking was the dominant feature
老师示范 / 修改方向：walking was the dominant mode of transport / means of transport
复习抓手：feature = 特点/特色；mode of transport = 交通方式；means of transport = 交通方式
9
交通方式图：每段要重新交代距离范围
课堂推进：老师提醒每个主体段都要让读者知道这一段对应哪个距离范围，不能只依赖前文分组句。
老师处理：老师要求学生在描述 walking 时补充 living up to one mile away from school，或用 very close to school 概括。
学生原始输出：which was selected by the children at 90%
老师示范 / 修改方向：which was selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school
复习抓手：读者没有义务记住上一句的分组；每段要重新标明关键范围；by 90% of children 比 at 90% 更自然
10
交通方式图：小占比的处理
课堂推进：老师讲解如果一个类别已经占绝大多数，剩下的小比例不一定逐个排名，可以合并表达。
老师处理：老师示范 the remaining... consisted of... 的写法，用来处理不重要的小数据。
学生原始输出：the second popular... ranked third...
老师示范 / 修改方向：The remaining 10% consisted of bike, car and bus users, at 5%, 2% and 2% respectively.
复习抓手：remaining = 剩余的；consist of = 由……组成；小数据可以合并写，避免机械排名
11
交通方式图：however/similarly 的逻辑
课堂推进：老师指出如果前后趋势相同，就不能用 however，应使用 similarly。
老师处理：老师解释 however 表示转折，而学生后面写的是仍然相同的情况。
学生原始输出：however, when it comes to the second group, walking... still...
老师示范 / 修改方向：Similarly, walking was still the main mode of transport...
复习抓手：however = 然而，用于不同或相反；similarly = 类似地，用于相同趋势；连接词要服务于真实逻辑
12
交通方式图：更合理的分组方式
课堂推进：老师建议按“谁最大”来分组：短距离 walking 最大，长距离 bus 最大，这样比按每个距离机械分组更高效。
老师处理：老师引导学生看每组最高的数据，把相同主导项的组放在一起。
学生原始输出：我就是根据谁最大来分，嗯，它最大只有walking和bus。
老师示范 / 修改方向：Up to two miles can be grouped together because walking was the largest category; distances over three miles can be grouped because bus was the largest category.
复习抓手：分组看主要特征；相同趋势可以合并；不要因为图上有几组就机械写几段
13
交通方式图：占比表达
课堂推进：老师补充多种占比表达，帮助学生避免只会写 at。
老师处理：老师讲解 with the percentage standing at、accounting for、which accounted for、make up、constitute、contribute 等表达。
学生原始输出：at 百分之...
老师示范 / 修改方向：with the percentage standing at...; accounting for...; which accounted for...
复习抓手：percentage/proportion/figure/data 都可用于数据表达；accounting for 跟主语；which accounted for 指代前面的宾语或名词
14
交通方式图：similar level 和 figures
课堂推进：老师提醒不能说交通工具本身在相似水平，而应说它们的数据或比例相近。
老师处理：老师把 car and bus were at a similar level 改成 their figures were at a similar level。
学生原始输出：car and bus were the most popular means of transportation, and they were in the same level similar
老师示范 / 修改方向：Their figures were at a similar level.
复习抓手：交通工具本身不能和比例混在一起比较；figure = 数据；their figures were at a similar level 更准确
15
交通方式图：句子完整性和 respectively
课堂推进：老师纠正 when the distance longer than 这类缺少动词的句子，并讲解 respectively 的位置。
老师处理：老师要求补上 was，并说明 respectively 应放在两个对应数据之后。
学生原始输出：when the distance longer than...
老师示范 / 修改方向：when the distance was longer than...; 30% and 60%, respectively
复习抓手：从句也需要动词；respectively 放在对应数据之后；写作必须按清楚顺序表达
16
交通方式图：总结段表达
课堂推进：老师表扬 hardly 的使用，同时提醒只写事实，不要加入“是否愿意”这类图表无法证明的判断。
老师处理：老师把 was willing to walk 改成 walked，并建议用 public transport、travelled without vehicles 等替换重复词。
学生原始输出：hardly anyone was willing to walk
老师示范 / 修改方向：hardly anyone walked; children travelling longer distances mainly used public transport; those living nearby travelled without vehicles
复习抓手：hardly anyone = 几乎没有人；图表写作只写事实，不推测原因；总结段要换表达，不要重复主体段原词
17
引入静态饼图写法
课堂推进：课程最后，老师开始讲静态饼图。饼图通常是百分比，所以写法要围绕最大占比、次要占比和剩余部分展开。
老师处理：老师说明三个饼可以分别写 production、consumption、profit，并示范 dominant、the remaining、the remainder、was composed of/consisted of 等表达。
老师示范 / 修改方向：The remainder was composed of... / The remaining percentage consisted of...
复习抓手：饼图通常按百分比写；每个饼可单独成段；小比例可用 the remaining 或 the remainder 合并
二、本节课亮点表现
本节课重点不是重新讲模板，而是把宇墨同学已经会写的内容进一步改准确。
老师反复强调：图表写作只写图中能证明的事实，不要推测原因或意愿。
本节课集中处理了时态、比较结构、数据交代、分组逻辑、占比表达和总结段换词。
宇墨同学能主动讨论分组逻辑，但还需要把“自己看懂图”转化成“读者也能立刻看懂”的表达。
三、本节课用了哪些材料
- 音乐销售静态图作文：复盘上一节作文中的时态、比较结构和数据表达问题
- 儿童上学交通方式图：课堂主修改材料，练习分组、占比表达和总结段
- 静态饼图 production / consumption / profit：引入饼图写法和百分比表达
四、学生课堂输出
课堂内容
among the group, which involves... the age...
课堂内容
the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million
课堂内容
The chart illustrates the statistics regarding the journeys to school by children h between...
课堂内容
walking was the dominant feature
课堂内容
however, when it comes to the second group, walking... still...
课堂内容
hardly anyone was willing to walk
五、本节课写作文章改进版
按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版；内容只使用课堂中明确讲到的交通方式图写法、分组逻辑和表达方向。
The chart illustrates how children travelled to school in 2010.
Overall, children living within two miles of school mainly travelled without vehicles, while those living farther away tended to use public transport. Hardly anyone walked when the distance was longer than three miles.
For children living up to one mile away from school, walking was the dominant mode of transport, which was selected by 90% of children. The remaining percentage consisted of other modes of transport, such as bicycle, car and bus, each accounting for a much smaller share.
Similarly, among children living one to two miles away from school, walking was still the most common means of transport, with the percentage standing at about 75%. The figures for the other transport methods were much lower, so they were less important in this distance group.
By contrast, among children living more than three miles away from school, bus became the main mode of transport. Car was also an important choice, while bicycle and walking accounted for smaller proportions. Their figures should be described according to the two longer-distance groups respectively.
六、本节课纠错
| 原句问题 | 推荐表达 | 记忆方法 |
|---|---|---|
| which involves | which involved | 图表描述的是过去年份或当时分组。 |
| sales exceeded pop music | sales exceeded that of pop music | 销量要和销量比较。 |
| the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million | classical music was the most popular, with the sales standing at 4.5 million | 读者需要知道 4.5 million 指的是 sales。 |
| walking was the dominant feature | walking was the dominant mode of transport | feature 是特点，不是交通方式。 |
| however ... still | similarly ... still | 前后相同趋势应使用 similarly。 |
| hardly anyone was willing to walk | hardly anyone walked | 图表不能证明学生是否愿意走路。 |
七、定稿作文 / 改写方向
IELTS Task 1 静态图课后复习版 课堂未给出完整最终定稿；此处为按课堂已讲方向整理的改进版
The chart illustrates how children travelled to school in 2010.
Overall, children living within two miles of school mainly travelled without vehicles, while those living farther away tended to use public transport. Hardly anyone walked when the distance was longer than three miles.
For children living up to one mile away from school, walking was the dominant mode of transport, which was selected by 90% of children. The remaining percentage consisted of other modes of transport, such as bicycle, car and bus, each accounting for a much smaller share.
Similarly, among children living one to two miles away from school, walking was still the most common means of transport, with the percentage standing at about 75%. The figures for the other transport methods were much lower, so they were less important in this distance group.
By contrast, among children living more than three miles away from school, bus became the main mode of transport. Car was also an important choice, while bicycle and walking accounted for smaller proportions. Their figures should be described according to the two longer-distance groups respectively.
八、课后任务
- 把交通方式图作文按课堂修改方向重新写一遍，重点检查过去式、分组逻辑和总结段。
- 把课堂上提到的静态饼图按 production、consumption、profit 三个饼分别写主体段。
- 写饼图时练习 the remaining、the remainder、consisted of、was composed of 等表达。
- 下一节课再写一个新的图表题。
九、方法和词汇
方法总结
- 每个主体段都重新交代本段对应的范围。
- 先看谁最大，再决定如何分组。
- 相同趋势用 similarly，不同趋势才用 however。
- 小比例数据可以合并写，不必逐个机械排名。
- 总结段换表达，不重复主体段原词。
补充词汇
- dominant：占主导的
- mode of transport：交通方式
- means of transport：交通方式
- percentage：百分比
- proportion：比例
- figure：数据
- account for：占比
- constitute：构成，占
- the remaining：剩余的
- remainder：剩余部分
- respectively：分别地，对应地
- hardly anyone：几乎没有人
- public transport：公共交通
- vehicle：交通工具，车辆