练过的材料
- 静态柱图：How children travelled to school in the UK (2010)（chart）
- 上节课音乐销售柱图（复习用）（review chart）
- 静态饼图：production / consumption / profit（chart）
写作 · 2026-01-28
张宇墨同学的课程学习报告
静态图小作文：柱图的结构、时态、比较与占比表达；初步了解静态饼图
课后复习模块
词汇和表达
- {"original": "involves", "upgrade": "involved（描述当时分组用过去时）", "context": "上节课音乐图分组"}
- {"original": "the age of 23 to 57", "upgrade": "people aged 23 to 57", "context": "分组描述"}
- {"original": "缺少 that of / 介词 off", "upgrade": "sales of A exceeded that of B", "context": "比较平行结构"}
- {"original": "feature", "upgrade": "means / method / form / mode of transport", "context": "交通方式"}
- the group which involved people aged 23 to 57（描述当时分组的过去时）
- sales of A exceeded that of B（比较同类事物，保持平行）
纠错重点
- which involved；描述当时的分组用过去时
- people aged 23 to 57；age 是形容词，需加 people
- sales of A exceeded that of B；比较同类事物需用 that of 保持平行
- was / were；2010年数据用一般过去时
- classical music was the most popular, with the sales standing at 4.5 million；引出新数据时说明指标
- at a similar level；same=完全相同，similar=相近
可回读产出
- 本节课写作文章改进版：开头段（Introduction）；The chart illustrates how children in the UK travelled to and from school in 2010.
- 静态柱图小作文：The chart illustrates how children in the UK travelled to and from school in 2010.；The data can be divided into two main groups according to the dominant mode of transport. In the first group, covering distances of up to one mile, walking was the dominant means of transport, selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school. The remaining children used other means, with cycling and car use each accounting for only a small share.
课后动作
- 课后把本节课柱图作文按课堂讲解重新写一遍，注意：全篇过去时、按主导交通方式分组、每段交代距离、使用 with...standing at / accounting for 表达占比、overview 概括长短距离趋势。
- 预习静态饼图：production / consumption / profit，尝试各写一段，先写最大项，再写其余项。
一、课堂推进时间轴
1
课程目标与安排
课堂推进：本节课讲解静态小作文中的柱图和饼图，老师当堂示范，学生课后重写同一篇作文，下节课再写新题。
老师处理：说明课程结构和任务安排
复习抓手：静态图包括静态柱图和静态饼图；课上示范+课后复写是练习方式
2
复习上节课音乐图：分组时态与比较结构
课堂推进：复习上节课音乐销售柱图，指出第二组中分组时态和比较句式需要修正。
老师处理：逐句批改并讲解 involved / people aged / that of 用法
学生原始输出：among the group，which involves... ; pop music ... than the sales of pop music
老师示范 / 修改方向：the group which involved people aged 23 to 57; sales of rock music exceeded that of the other types
复习抓手：描述当时的分组用过去时 involved；people aged... 表示某年龄段的人；比较同类事物时用 that of / those of 保持平行
3
复习上节课末段：时态、数据指代与同/相似
课堂推进：批改学生独立写作的音乐图末段，集中修正时态、数据含义、same/similar 和拼写。
老师处理：讲解 with sales standing at、at a similar level、each accounting for nearly 等用法
学生原始输出：the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million; they were at the same level; all almost; rock（肉吃）
老师示范 / 修改方向：classical music was the most popular, with the sales standing at 4.5 million; they were at a similar level; each accounting for nearly X%; rock
复习抓手：2010年数据用一般过去时；引出新数据时说明指标：with the sales standing at...；same=完全相同，similar=相近；结尾关键词不要拼错
4
评分诊断：当前水平与提分点
课堂推进：（内部）老师分析本篇作文得6分的原因。
老师处理：给出6分诊断，指出内容、表达和语法上的具体失分点
复习抓手：6分与6.5/7分的差距在于细节交代、句式多样性和时态准确
5
新题开头段：删去冗余信息
课堂推进：开始新题“children's journeys to school”，先去掉开头段中不必要的年龄和国家描述，并统一过去时。
老师处理：引导学生自己找错，指出开头段冗余
学生原始输出：The chart illustrates the statistics regarding the journeys to school by children. ... between ... in the UK
老师示范 / 修改方向：The chart illustrates statistics regarding journeys to school by children in the UK in 2010.
复习抓手：开头段简洁，不必重复题目已给信息；2010年数据用一般过去时
6
分组句：避免凑字数，保持平行
课堂推进：教学生写简单、平行的分组句，不要为了凑字数写复杂结构。
老师处理：示范简洁分组，并解释用 including/involving 避免多一个动词
学生原始输出：The data can be roughly divided into three groups, one including..., another involving..., the part of last is the distance more than...
老师示范 / 修改方向：The data can be divided into three groups: one including distances of up to one mile, another involving distances of one to two miles, and the last covering distances of more than two miles.
复习抓手：分组句要平行、简洁；用 including / involving 等非谓语，避免多一个谓语动词
7
词汇纠正：feature 不是“方式”
课堂推进：纠正“feature”误用，讲解“交通方式”的地道说法。
老师处理：指出 feature 意为“特点”，推荐 means/method/form/mode of transport
学生原始输出：walking was the dominant feature
老师示范 / 修改方向：walking was the dominant means of transport
复习抓手：feature = 特点，不是方式；交通方式常用 means/method/form/mode of transport；way of transport 不地道
8
第一组细节：补充距离与百分比表达
课堂推进：提醒每一段都要交代本组距离范围，并示范更自然的百分比表达。
老师处理：示范用分词短语补充分组，并纠正 at 90% 的用法
学生原始输出：walking was the dominant feature, which was selected by the children at 90%
老师示范 / 修改方向：walking was the dominant means of transport, which was selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school
复习抓手：每段都要说明本组对应的距离；百分比可用 selected by X% of...；用 living... 分词短语补充背景
9
第二组：趋势相同用 similarly，可合并分组
课堂推进：指出两组趋势相同时不要用 however，建议把走路占主导的组合并。
老师处理：讲解 however vs similarly，并建议按主导交通方式重新分组
学生原始输出：However, when it comes to the second group, walking...
复习抓手：趋势相同用 similarly，不用 however；可按主导方式合并：up to two miles 都是 walking 主导
10
占比表达升级：accounting for / with percentage standing at
课堂推进：扩展表达占比的多种句式，并区分非谓语与定语从句。
老师处理：列举 account for / make up / constitute / contribute，并示范 accounting for vs which accounted for
学生原始输出：at 90%
老师示范 / 修改方向：with the percentage standing at 90%; accounting for 90%; which accounted for 90%
复习抓手：占比表达：account for / make up / constitute / contribute；with the percentage standing at... 更安全；accounting for 主语=柱名；which accounted for 用于表语位置
11
第三组长距离组：指代与分组
课堂推进：纠正“they were at a similar level”指代不清的问题，并给长距离组补充分组说明。
老师处理：示范用 their figures / proportions were at a similar level，并建议按 bus 主导的 grey、yellow 合并
学生原始输出：car and bus were the most popular means of transportation, and they were in the same level similar
老师示范 / 修改方向：car and bus were the most popular means; their figures were at a similar level
复习抓手：比较的是数据/比例，不是交通工具本身：their figures / proportions；长距离组要说明 more than two/three miles away / far from school；分组原则：谁最大就归为一组
12
小错误：dates vs data，冠词与 respectively
课堂推进：修正 data 误写为 dates，bicycle 误加冠词，以及 respectively 的位置。
老师处理：讲解 the data 为数据总称，交通工具类别一般不加冠词，respectively 放在两数之后
学生原始输出：The dates of... ; The bicycle followed them at 10%; ... respectively
复习抓手：data 是数据，date 是日期；交通工具类别用复数/零冠词：bicycles；respectively: A and B, respectively
13
Overall 总结段
课堂推进：教学生写 overview：短距离走路为主，长距离依赖公交/汽车，几乎没人走路。
老师处理：示范 overall，建议用 public transport / travel without vehicles，避免重复图表细节
学生原始输出：overall, hardly anyone is walking; ... bus
老师示范 / 修改方向：Overall, short distances were mainly travelled on foot, while longer distances relied on public transport or cars. Hardly anyone walked once the distance increased.
复习抓手：overview 概括趋势，不重复具体数据；短距离 vs 长距离对比；hardly anyone walked 是好表达
14
静态饼图结构与表达
课堂推进：初步学习静态饼图：展示百分比，三个饼各写一段，先最大、再其次、最后说剩余。
老师处理：讲解饼图结构，示范 the remaining X% / the remainder was composed of
复习抓手：静态饼图 = 百分比整体；每饼一段：最大→次大→剩余；剩余表达：the remaining X% / the remainder was composed of
15
课堂收尾：重写目标
课堂推进：明确课后任务：把本节课柱图按课堂讲解重写成接近7分的版本。
老师处理：布置课后重写和下一节课饼图练习
复习抓手：课后重写=把已讲规则全部执行到位
二、本节课亮点表现
复习并修正了上节课音乐图的时态与比较结构
审阅新题柱图，删去冗余开头，统一使用过去时
学会写简单、平行的分组句
掌握“交通方式”正确表达：means / method / form / mode of transport
学会在每一段交代本组距离范围
学会用 with...standing at / accounting for 等占比表达
了解 overview 写法：短距离走路 vs 长距离公交/汽车
初步学习静态饼图结构：先写最大项，再写剩余项
三、本节课用了哪些材料
- 静态柱图：How children travelled to school in the UK (2010)（chart）
- 上节课音乐销售柱图（复习用）（review chart）
- 静态饼图：production / consumption / profit（chart）
四、学生课堂输出
上节课音乐图末段
the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million; they were at the same level; all almost; rock（肉吃）
新题开头段
The chart illustrates the statistics regarding the journeys to school by children.
新题分组句
The data can be roughly divided into three groups, one including..., another involving..., the part of last is the distance more than...
第一组主体句
walking was the dominant feature, which was selected by the children at 90%
第二组主体句
However, when it comes to the second group, walking...
第三组主体句
car and bus were the most popular means of transportation, and they were in the same level similar
总结段
overall, hardly anyone is walking; ... bus
五、本节课写作文章改进版
按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版，重点修正过去时、分组、距离说明、占比表达和 overview。具体数字请对照原图填入。
开头段（Introduction）
The chart illustrates how children in the UK travelled to and from school in 2010.
主体段 1：近距离——走路占主导
The data can be divided into two main groups according to the dominant mode of transport. In the first group, covering distances of up to one mile, walking was the dominant means of transport, selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school. The remaining children used other means, with cycling and car use each accounting for only a small share.
主体段 2：同样趋势（1–2 miles）
Similarly, for children living between one and two miles from school, walking remained the most popular way to travel, with the percentage standing at around 75%. Other forms of transport made up the rest.
主体段 3：长距离——汽车与公交为主
In the long-distance group, where children lived more than two miles away from school, car and bus were the most popular means of transport; their figures were at a similar level, while bicycle use accounted for only about 10%.
总结段（Overview）
Overall, short distances were mainly travelled on foot, whereas longer distances relied on cars or public transport. Hardly anyone walked to school once the distance increased.
六、本节课纠错
| 原句问题 | 推荐表达 | 记忆方法 |
|---|---|---|
| which involves | which involved | 描述当时的分组用过去时 |
| the age of 23 to 57 | people aged 23 to 57 | age 是形容词，需加 people |
| pop music was larger than the sales of pop music（缺少 that of / off） | sales of A exceeded that of B | 比较同类事物需用 that of 保持平行 |
| is / are | was / were | 2010年数据用一般过去时 |
| the classical music was the most popular at 4.5 million | classical music was the most popular, with the sales standing at 4.5 million | 引出新数据时说明指标 |
| at the same level | at a similar level | same=完全相同，similar=相近 |
| all almost | each standing at nearly / each accounting for nearly | 多个小比例的表达 |
| 肉吃 | rock | 关键词不要拼错 |
| children between... in the UK | children | 开头段不必重复题目已知信息 |
| the part of last is the distance more than... | the last covering distances of more than... | 分组句要平行、简洁 |
| walking was the dominant feature | walking was the dominant means of transport | feature=特点，不是方式 |
| 第一组只写 walking 占 90% | walking was selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school | 每段都要交代本组距离 |
| selected by the children at 90% | selected by 90% of children | at 90% 不自然 |
| However, when it comes to the second group, walking... | Similarly, for children living one to two miles away, walking... | 趋势相同用 similarly |
| car and bus... they were in the same level similar | their figures were at a similar level | 比较的是数据，不是交通工具 |
| 第三组未说明距离 | children living more than two/three miles away from school / far from school | 长距离组也要交代范围 |
| The bicycle followed them | Bicycles followed them | 交通工具类别一般不加冠词 |
| respectively 位置不当 | A and B, respectively | respectively 放在两个数字之后 |
| hardly anyone is willing to walk | hardly anyone walked | 只写事实，不写主观判断 |
| The dates of... | The data... | data=数据，date=日期 |
七、定稿作文 / 改写方向
静态柱图小作文 课堂改进版（未最终定稿，课后需重写）
The chart illustrates how children in the UK travelled to and from school in 2010.
The data can be divided into two main groups according to the dominant mode of transport. In the first group, covering distances of up to one mile, walking was the dominant means of transport, selected by 90% of children living up to one mile away from school. The remaining children used other means, with cycling and car use each accounting for only a small share.
Similarly, for children living between one and two miles from school, walking remained the most popular way to travel, with the percentage standing at around 75%. Other forms of transport made up the rest.
In the long-distance group, where children lived more than two miles away from school, car and bus were the most popular means of transport; their figures were at a similar level, while bicycle use accounted for only about 10%.
Overall, short distances were mainly travelled on foot, whereas longer distances relied on cars or public transport. Hardly anyone walked to school once the distance increased.
八、课后任务
- 课后把本节课柱图作文按课堂讲解重新写一遍，注意：全篇过去时、按主导交通方式分组、每段交代距离、使用 with...standing at / accounting for 表达占比、overview 概括长短距离趋势。
- 预习静态饼图：production / consumption / profit，尝试各写一段，先写最大项，再写其余项。
九、方法和词汇
方法总结
- 用生活类比（身高比较）解释英语比较结构
- 逐句批改学生原文，保留原始错误并给出修改版
- 引导学生自己发现错误
- 通过“谁最大”原则教学生分组
- 用替换表达扩展词汇多样性
补充词汇
- involved 涉及（描述当时分组用过去时）
- people aged... 某年龄段的人
- that of 用以指代前面提到的同类事物
- with the sales standing at... 数据达到……
- at a similar level 在相似水平
- each accounting for nearly... 每一项约占……
- means of transport 交通方式
- mode of transport 交通方式
- account for 占（比例）
- make up 占（比例）
- constitute 占（比例）
- contribute 贡献（占比）
- respectively 分别
- hardly anyone walked 几乎没人走路
- the remaining X% 剩余的X%
- the remainder was composed of... 剩余部分由……组成