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写作 · 2026-06-23

Row同学的课程学习报告

雅思写作小作文图表描述修改,以及大作文住房、传统与科技类题目思路拓展

学员:Row同学 老师:Miya老师 课型:正课 主题:雅思写作小作文动态图+饼图修改;大作文住房与传统/科技类思路拓展

课后复习模块

练过的材料

  • 一篇包含 line graph(线图)和 pie chart(饼图)的雅思小作文,主题为 2000-2008 年不同停留时间移民人数变化,以及 2008 年移民目的比例。
  • 关于政府是否应该为负担不起住房的人提供免费住房的讨论题。
  • 关于现代科技记录生活,以及传统相册/日记是否仍有价值的讨论题。

词汇和表达

  • owing to(由于)后面接名词
  • academic pursuit(学术追求/学习目的)
  • predominant drivers(主要驱动因素)
  • remaining(剩余的)
  • with 结构写趋势:with the figure increasing year by year
  • 总览段时间排除:throughout the given period except in 2000

纠错重点

  • 这里数的是人,所以要用 immigrants。
  • 这样能说明 2000 年是从整个时间段中排除。
  • remained 可用于过去式,也能表达“保持为”。
  • 保留 occurred 作为核心谓语,其余信息改成修饰结构。
  • due to 后面应接名词或名词短语。
  • 图表作文数据错误会直接影响 Task Achievement。

可回读产出

  • 本节课写作文章改进版:{"part": "Task 1", "question": "Line graph and pie chart about immigrants by length of stay and purpose.", "answer": "The line graph illustrates the number of three groups of immigrants between 2000 and 2008, while the pie chart shows the proportion of immigrants for different purposes in 2008.\n\nOverall, the largest number of immigrants remained individuals who stayed in the UK for less than two years throughout the given period except in 2000, with the figure increasing year by year. In 2008, most people immigrated owing to employment or academic pursuit.\n\nLooking at the line graph, the number of immigrants in the group staying for less than two years experienced noticeable growth. A similar upward trend occurred in the group of people staying there between two and four years, with its figure slightly increasing. Meanwhile, the scale of people who lived in the UK for more than four years remained stable at around the same level.\n\nTurning to the pie chart, the share contributed by people migrating for work and study combined reached 70%, indicating that these two purposes were the predominant drivers behind immigration. The proportion of individuals who migrated due to family visits was lower, while the remaining 14% was composed of people with no stated reason and other reasons, at 7% respectively.", "pairedWithCueCardId": ""};{"part": "Task 2", "question": "Whether the government should provide free housing for people who cannot afford it.", "answer": "The government should provide free housing for some people who cannot afford it, but this support should not be offered to everyone without conditions.\n\nOn the one hand, some homeless people may end up sleeping on the street or under bridges if they receive no support. This can occupy public space and may also lead to public health and safety issues. Therefore, free housing can work as a quick fix solution for people who are in real need.\n\nOn the other hand, policy makers should set a threshold regarding applicants' financial status and the types of housing before allocating any free housing to qualified individuals. This is necessary because public budgets are limited, and the government needs to safeguard the interests of the majority. For people who cannot afford housing because they want to buy expensive property for speculative purposes, commercial loans or other market-based options may be more suitable than government-funded free housing.\n\nTherefore, free housing can be justified for qualified individuals in the short term, but it should not become an unlimited benefit for everyone who claims that they cannot afford a house.", "pairedWithCueCardId": ""}
  • 雅思写作复习稿:Task 1 改进版已整理在 improvedOutput 第一项。;Task 2 住房题复习版已整理在 improvedOutput 第二项。

课后动作

  • 完成听力真题模考。
  • 完成后截图发到群里。
  • 继续复习小作文中动词时态、单复数、数据单位和 due to / owing to 后接名词的规则。

一、课堂推进时间轴

1

检查小作文开头段

课堂推进:课堂先从图表作文的开头段开始,确认图表类型、主体对象和时间范围,并把“移民的人”和“移民这件事”区分清楚。

老师处理:老师提醒 line graph 可以写成 graph 或 line graph,并纠正 immigrants 与 immigration/emigration 的区别。

学生原始输出:The Line Graph illustrates the number of three groups of immigrants between 2000 and two thousand eight while. The pie chart shows the proportion of immigrants for different purposes.

老师示范 / 修改方向:The line graph illustrates the number of three groups of immigrants between 2000 and 2008, while the pie chart shows the proportion of immigrants for different purposes/reasons.

复习抓手:immigrants 指“移民的人”;immigration/emigration 指“移民这件事”;开头段可以复用题目表达,但要检查拼写和图表名;purposes 表示“目的”,reasons 表示“原因”

2

修改 overall 总结句

课堂推进:老师帮助学生把 overall 写得更清楚,避免 except 的位置让读者误解为“在两年里排除某一年”。

老师处理:老师解释时间状语和排除结构,建议用 throughout the given period except in 2000。

学生原始输出:overall, the largest number of immigrants were generally individuals who stayed in the UK for less than two years except in 2000, and the figure was increasing year by year throughout.

老师示范 / 修改方向:Overall, the largest number of immigrants remained individuals who stayed in the UK for less than two years throughout the given period except in 2000, with the figure increasing year by year.

复习抓手:except in 2000 要修饰整个时间段,不要紧贴 two years;remain 可以避开 was/were 单复数判断,同时表达“保持为”;with + 名词 + doing 可以表达伴随趋势,避免时态错误

3

处理动态图主体趋势

课堂推进:学生描述三组移民停留时间的变化,老师重点调整句子重心、动词数量和趋势词。

老师处理:老师指出 in the group 不清楚,需要说明是哪一组;同时把 witnessed by/involved 等结构改成更自然的 occurred in 或 with 结构。

学生原始输出:Looking at the line graph, the number of immigrants in the group experience a noticeable growth... The same trend witnessed by the group involved people who stayed in there within the range from two to four years...

老师示范 / 修改方向:Looking at the line graph, the number of immigrants in the group staying for less than two years experienced noticeable growth. A similar upward trend occurred in the group of people staying there between two and four years, with its figure slightly increasing.

复习抓手:一组人要说清楚:the group staying for less than two years;一整句话通常只保留一个核心谓语动词;similar upward trend 比 the same trend 更准确,因为两条线只是趋势相似,不是完全一样;between two and four years 比 within the range from two to four years 更自然

4

区分 stay 与 live,修正稳定趋势

课堂推进:老师肯定学生把长期居住组写成 live 的选择,并进一步讲解 stable 与 constant 的区别。

老师处理:老师解释 stay 更偏短暂停留,live 更适合长期居住;并建议用 remained stable at 表达数值基本稳定。

学生原始输出:The scale of people in the group who lived in the UK for more than four years stay constant...

老师示范 / 修改方向:Meanwhile, the scale of people in the group who lived in the UK for more than four years remained stable at around the same level.

复习抓手:stay 更像“短暂停留”;live 更像“生活/居住”;stable 表示“基本稳定”,比 constant 更适合人口数据;meanwhile 可以连接同一时间段内另一组数据

5

转入饼图,修正原因表达

课堂推进:课堂接着看 2008 年移民目的饼图,老师帮助学生把 chose、due to、owing to 等表达写得更准确。

老师处理:老师指出 chose 要用过去式 chose,也提醒直接写 immigrated owing to employment and academic pursuit 更客观。

学生原始输出:In two thousand eight most people chose to immigrate owing to their employment...

老师示范 / 修改方向:In 2008, most people immigrated owing to employment or academic pursuit.

复习抓手:2008 年发生的事要用过去式;owing to / due to 后面接名词,类似 because of;academic pursuit 表示“学术追求/学习目的”;如果两个比例合起来超过一半,可以用 most people 概括

6

饼图数据组合与主次信息选择

课堂推进:老师引导学生不要只做机械倍数比较,而是把 work 和 study 合并,说明它们共同构成主要原因。

老师处理:老师建议把 work 和 study 的比例加起来,写成接近 70%,用于支撑 overall 里“主要原因”的判断。

学生原始输出:family visit was half of that of the study people...

老师示范 / 修改方向:The share contributed by people migrating for work and study combined reached 70%, indicating that these two purposes were the predominant drivers behind immigration.

复习抓手:predominant drivers 表示“主要驱动因素”;饼图里更重要的是主次关系,而不是随意比较两个小比例;work + study 合计 70% 可以支撑“主要原因”的结论;study people 不自然,可以改成 people who came for academic purposes

7

修正剩余比例表达和 AI 检查反馈

课堂推进:学生继续修改结尾数据,老师提醒 remaining、was composed of、respectively 等表达,同时发现有数据少写一个零的问题。

老师处理:老师纠正 left 应改为 remaining,并提醒 composed of 后不要再加 by;随后根据检查反馈指出数据单位错误。

学生原始输出:The left fourteen percent was composed of people with no reason and other reasons, with seven percent...

老师示范 / 修改方向:The remaining 14% was composed of people with no stated reason and other reasons, at 7% respectively.

复习抓手:the remaining 表示“剩余的”;be composed of 表示“由……组成”,不要写 composed of by;respectively 表示“分别地”;图表作文必须核对数字和单位,少一个零也会影响得分

8

大作文住房题思路拓展

课堂推进:后半节课转入大作文讨论:政府是否应该为负担不起住房的人提供免费住房。老师帮助学生建立有条件同意的思路。

老师处理:老师引导学生区分需要救助的人群、住房标准、公共预算,以及短期免费住房和长期经济适用房的差别。

学生原始输出:government should provide free housing... 给什么样的人群,提供什么样的住房。

老师示范 / 修改方向:Policy makers should set a threshold regarding applicants' financial status and the types of housing before allocating any free housing to qualified individuals, so as to avoid wasting limited public budgets.

复习抓手:set a threshold 表示“设定门槛”;financial status 表示“财务状况”;qualified individuals 表示“符合条件的人”;free housing 可以作为 quick fix solution(权宜之计),但不一定是长期方案;public budgets 表示“公共预算”

9

大作文举例与因果链

课堂推进:老师示范如何把 homeless people 的例子展开成因果链:无家可归、占用公共空间、公共卫生和旅游影响。

老师处理:老师用 end up on the street、occupying public space、public safety issues、harming local tourism 等表达组织论证。

学生原始输出:homeless people 他可能会 end up on the street... under the bridge...

老师示范 / 修改方向:Without support, homeless people may end up sleeping on the street or under bridges, occupying public space and potentially leading to public health and safety issues.

复习抓手:end up doing / end up on... 表示“最终落到某种处境”;occupy public space 表示“占用公共空间”;public health and safety issues 表示“公共卫生和安全问题”;例子要继续解释后果,而不是只列一个场景

10

传统与科技类作文开头和例子修改

课堂推进:最后老师回到另一篇大作文,修改关于现代科技、电子照片/博客和传统相册/日记的表达。

老师处理:老师把 since the modern technology development 改成更清楚的主谓结构,并补充 traditional methods 的老人友好、backup plan 等论点。

学生原始输出:since the modern technology development offer another way for people to record precious making individual...

老师示范 / 修改方向:Modern technology offers a brand new way for people to record precious experiences by taking digital photos and writing blogs. However, some people still prefer tangible methods such as photo albums and diaries.

复习抓手:development of modern technology 比 modern technology development 更自然;modern technology offers... 可以直接作主谓宾;tangible methods 表示“实体方式/摸得着的方式”;backup plan 表示“备用方案”;digital gap 表示“数字鸿沟”

11

内部跟进:考前任务与状态

课堂推进:老师课末提醒学生去看考场,并完成听力真题模考后截图发群里。

老师处理:老师布置听力模考任务,并判断听力相对写作更容易拿分。

学生原始输出:承诺今天一定会把听力真题模考完。

老师示范 / 修改方向:做完后截图发群里。

复习抓手:考前需要完成听力真题模考;写作保持大胆表达,先把思路写出来,再逐步减少错误

二、本节课亮点表现

Row同学课前完成了小作文练习,课堂中能主动使用 owing to、regardless of、a prime example of this 等较高级表达。

本节课重点解决了图表作文里的动词时态、单复数、句子重心和数据选择问题。

大作文部分围绕免费住房、公共预算、科技与传统方式展开,老师帮助学生把中文思路转成可写的英文因果链。

课末老师提醒:写作中即使词不够完美,也要先把清楚的观点写出来。

三、本节课用了哪些材料

四、学生课堂输出

课堂内容

The Line Graph illustrates the number of three groups of immigrants between 2000 and two thousand eight while. The pie chart shows the proportion of immigrants for different purposes.

课堂内容

overall, the largest number of immigrants were generally individuals who stayed in the UK for less than two years except in 2000, and the figure was increasing year by year throughout.

课堂内容

Looking at the line graph, the number of immigrants in the group experience a noticeable growth...

课堂内容

In two thousand eight most people chose to immigrate owing to their employment...

课堂内容

family visit was half of that of the study people...

课堂内容

since the modern technology development offer another way for people to record precious making individual...

五、本节课写作文章改进版

以下为按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版,保留本节课重点讲过的图表作文表达、数据组合思路和大作文论证方向。

Line graph and pie chart about immigrants by length of stay and purpose.

The line graph illustrates the number of three groups of immigrants between 2000 and 2008, while the pie chart shows the proportion of immigrants for different purposes in 2008. Overall, the largest number of immigrants remained individuals who stayed in the UK for less than two years throughout the given period except in 2000, with the figure increasing year by year. In 2008, most people immigrated owing to employment or academic pursuit. Looking at the line graph, the number of immigrants in the group staying for less than two years experienced noticeable growth. A similar upward trend occurred in the group of people staying there between two and four years, with its figure slightly increasing. Meanwhile, the scale of people who lived in the UK for more than four years remained stable at around the same level. Turning to the pie chart, the share contributed by people migrating for work and study combined reached 70%, indicating that these two purposes were the predominant drivers behind immigration. The proportion of individuals who migrated due to family visits was lower, while the remaining 14% was composed of people with no stated reason and other reasons, at 7% respectively.

Whether the government should provide free housing for people who cannot afford it.

The government should provide free housing for some people who cannot afford it, but this support should not be offered to everyone without conditions. On the one hand, some homeless people may end up sleeping on the street or under bridges if they receive no support. This can occupy public space and may also lead to public health and safety issues. Therefore, free housing can work as a quick fix solution for people who are in real need. On the other hand, policy makers should set a threshold regarding applicants' financial status and the types of housing before allocating any free housing to qualified individuals. This is necessary because public budgets are limited, and the government needs to safeguard the interests of the majority. For people who cannot afford housing because they want to buy expensive property for speculative purposes, commercial loans or other market-based options may be more suitable than government-funded free housing. Therefore, free housing can be justified for qualified individuals in the short term, but it should not become an unlimited benefit for everyone who claims that they cannot afford a house.

Whether modern technology has replaced traditional ways of recording and sharing memories.

Modern technology offers a brand new way for people to record precious experiences by taking digital photos and writing blogs. These methods are efficient because families can instantly witness special moments regardless of distance. However, some people still prefer tangible methods such as photo albums and diaries. One justification is that tangible photo albums may evoke a sense of nostalgia when people pick them up years later. An additional reason is that traditional methods can bridge the digital gap for elderly people who can barely connect to the Internet or check a digital album online. Traditional records can also serve as a backup plan whenever there is something wrong with the digital version. For instance, if a storage device malfunctions or an online platform stops working, printed photos and written diaries can still preserve important memories. Therefore, digital methods are highly convenient, but traditional methods still have value as emotional records, accessible tools for some elderly people, and useful backups.

六、本节课纠错

原句问题推荐表达记忆方法
这里数的是人,所以要用 immigrants。
这样能说明 2000 年是从整个时间段中排除。
remained 可用于过去式,也能表达“保持为”。
保留 occurred 作为核心谓语,其余信息改成修饰结构。
due to 后面应接名词或名词短语。
图表作文数据错误会直接影响 Task Achievement。

七、定稿作文 / 改写方向

雅思写作复习稿 按课堂讲解方向整理,非逐字稿中完整最终定稿

Task 1 改进版已整理在 improvedOutput 第一项。

Task 2 住房题复习版已整理在 improvedOutput 第二项。

Task 2 传统与科技题复习版已整理在 improvedOutput 第三项。

八、课后任务

九、方法和词汇

方法总结

  • 遇到 was/were 不确定时,可以用 remained 解决单复数和表达层级问题。
  • 动态图趋势可以用 with + 名词 + doing,减少时态风险。
  • 饼图不要机械比较所有数字,要优先找主次关系和合计比例。
  • 大作文先写清观点,再用例子和因果链把理由拉长。

补充词汇

  • remain:保持为
  • stable:稳定的
  • owing to:由于,后接名词
  • academic pursuit:学术追求/学习目的
  • predominant:主要的,占主导的
  • threshold:门槛,准入标准
  • qualified individuals:符合条件的人
  • quick fix solution:权宜之计
  • public budgets:公共预算
  • tangible:实体的,摸得着的
  • nostalgia:怀旧感
  • backup plan:备用方案