Mobile phones and internet can be of great help to older people, but they are the group least likely to use them. In what ways can this technology help old people?(雅思写作问题解决/帮助方式题):用于讲解审题、帮助分类、老年人科技相关词汇和解决方案段。
Many students find it harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in school. Why does this happen? How can this be solved?(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解大学学习适应、自主学习、课程难度和学校支持类对策。
Nowadays people spend a great deal of time sitting, leading to health problems. Why does this happen? What are the best ways to encourage people to sit less?(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解久坐生活方式、现代科技原因、健康问题词汇和现实可行的解决方案。
In some countries there is not enough recycling of waste materials such as paper, glass and cans.(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解垃圾回收不足的原因、发达/发展中国家分类、宣传/技术/法律/经济类对策。
Pineapple growing and pineapple products flow chart(雅思小作文流程图):用于讲解流程图开头、overview、一般现在时被动语态、步骤顺序和图中信息全覆盖。
词汇和表达
elderly people / the elderly:老年人,语气比 old people 更尊重
senior citizens:年长者,长者
retirees:退休的人
pensioners:领养老金的人
写主体段时先给分类或总观点,再举具体例子。;从抽象观点到具体例子
用于说明手机和网络帮助老年人解决出行、医疗、支付等问题。;处理日常问题
纠错重点
{"rawOrIssue": "把老年人科技题理解成问原因。", "correctedOrAdvice": "本题 in what ways 是问手机和网络可以怎样帮助老年人,不是问为什么老年人不用。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "先看题目问法,ways/help 表示帮助方式或作用。", "sourceEvidence": "他不是问成因...他是问老年人...使用了这个科技能怎么帮助到老年人"}
{"rawOrIssue": "直接罗列扫码乘车、挂号、缴费、购物等例子。", "correctedOrAdvice": "先分成抽象类别,如 address daily issues 和 have access to information,再举例。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "雅思写作要从抽象到具体,否则像一盘散沙。", "sourceEvidence": "咱得给这堆各种各样的帮助...分成几类"}
{"rawOrIssue": "减少难度。", "correctedOrAdvice": "英文应表达为 lower the difficulty。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "difficulty 搭配 lower,不说 reduce difficulty 更自然。", "sourceEvidence": "难度不能减少难度只能降低...lower the difficulty"}
可回读产出
本节课写作文章改进版:{"type": "Task 2 outline", "topic": "Mobile phones and the Internet can help elderly people", "essayPlan": [{"paragraph": "Body 1", "mainIdea": "Mobile phones and the Internet can first help elderly people address daily issues.", "support": ["They can use mobile payment to pay utility bills or buy daily necessities.", "They can make an appointment with a doctor online, which helps them deal with medical issues.", "They can use transport-related apps to solve transportation problems."]}, {"paragraph": "Body 1 extension", "mainIdea": "These technologies can also help them have access to useful information.", "support": ["They can check weather forecasts.", "They can read recipes.", "They can learn how to maintain good health."]}, {"paragraph": "Body 2", "mainIdea": "Platforms should make apps more elderly-friendly.", "support": ["Apps can provide a senior mode with larger fonts and louder audio.", "They can lower the difficulty of operation.", "They can reduce disturbance by limiting pop-up advertisements and useless notifications."]}, {"paragraph": "Body 2 extension", "mainIdea": "Family members can teach elderly people step by step.", "support": ["They can start with simple operations, such as making phone calls and sending voice messages.", "Then they can teach mobile payment and how to make an appointment with a doctor.", "They should offer more encouragement and less criticism."]}], "sampleParagraphs": ["Mobile phones and the Internet can bring practical benefits to elderly people. Most importantly, they can help the elderly address daily issues. For example, mobile payment allows them to pay utility bills and buy daily necessities more conveniently, while online medical services enable them to make an appointment with a doctor without waiting in long queues. Besides, these technologies can help them have access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and health tips.", "To encourage elderly people to use these technologies, platforms should first make their apps more elderly-friendly. For instance, they can provide a senior mode with larger fonts, louder audio and simpler procedures, so that elderly users can operate the apps more easily. It is also important to lower the difficulty and reduce disturbance by removing unnecessary pop-up advertisements and notifications. Turning to family members, they can teach elderly people step by step, starting from making phone calls and sending voice messages before moving on to mobile payment and online medical appointments."]};{"type": "Task 2 outline", "topic": "Students find it harder to study at university than at school", "essayPlan": [{"paragraph": "Reasons", "mainIdea": "Higher education requires stronger self-discipline and academic autonomy.", "support": ["In secondary school, students are usually supervised by teachers.", "At university, students often need to study by themselves and take an initiative.", "University courses are more professional, abstract and fast-paced."]}, {"paragraph": "Solutions", "mainIdea": "Universities and secondary schools can provide support instead of simply asking students to solve the problem by themselves.", "support": ["Universities can offer workshops, office hours, writing centers and tutor sessions.", "Senior students from the same major can help freshmen adapt.", "Secondary schools can provide more chances for students to plan their own study with teacher guidance."]}]}
课后动作
把课堂讨论过的各自作文题写成完整作文,注意原因段和解决段长度基本均衡。
复习并记录老年人科技题中的分类和词汇:address daily issues, have access to information, elderly-friendly, lower the difficulty, reduce disturbance。
复习抓手:问题解决类作文不能直接堆例子,要先给抽象分类;in what ways 要回答帮助的类别;雅思写作喜欢从抽象到具体
2
主体段分类:科技如何帮助老年人
课堂推进:老师把老年人使用手机和网络的好处分成更清楚的类别,并提醒先写更重要的帮助。
老师处理:老师比较了两种分类方式:解决问题/查询信息,或安全健康/生活舒适,并强调重要内容先写。
学生原始输出:扫码乘车、线上挂号就医、手机缴费、线上购物、智能家电、查天气、看菜谱、学习养生知识。
老师示范 / 修改方向:可以先写 mobile phones and the Internet help elderly people address daily issues, such as transportation, medical appointments and mobile payment. 然后再写 they also help them have access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and health tips.
老师示范 / 修改方向:平台可以设计 elderly-friendly apps,lower the difficulty and reduce disturbance;family members can teach elderly people step by step, starting from making phone calls and sending voice messages.
老师示范 / 修改方向:不能说学习自主性大幅提高像是能力变强,应说 tertiary education requires stronger self-discipline or academic autonomy, but students have not been trained for this in secondary school.
复习抓手:self-study 是自学,不等于自主学习;自主性可用 autonomy,主动做事可用 take an initiative;拖延不是 delay,而是 procrastination
老师示范 / 修改方向:不能只说 students should improve self-discipline;可以写 universities can organize workshops, office hours and writing centers to help freshmen adapt.
老师示范 / 修改方向:health issues 的例子可以放在开头,但原因段不能继续讲结果;原因段可以写 excessive assignments require lengthy sitting, after which people feel exhausted, forming a vicious cycle.
老师示范 / 修改方向:可以写 labor costs significantly exceed the cost of raw materials, so established corporations may prioritize profits over environmentally friendly recycling.
复习抓手:developed countries 和 developing countries 可以作为分类框架;labor cost 是人力成本;raw materials 是原材料;prioritize A over B 表示优先考虑A而不是B
11
垃圾回收题:解决方案不能虎头蛇尾
课堂推进:老师指出原因分析很详细时,解决办法也必须同样充分,不能只写两三行。
老师处理:老师围绕宣传、技术、法律和经济手段补充解决方案。
学生原始输出:政府可以引进回收技术;制定法规约束;减免部分税收;提供政府补贴。
老师示范 / 修改方向:政府可以 put up posters, distribute brochures, invite specialists to hold lectures, and organize trained personnel to offer free consultation;也可以 introduce or research recycling technology, establish and enforce strict laws and regulations, provide tax incentives and subsidies.
老师示范 / 修改方向:diagram 可换成 flow chart,shows 可换成 illustrates;the process of growing pineapples 可改成 how pineapples are grown;流程图要用一般现在时被动语态,如 pineapples are planted, washed, separated, packed.
复习抓手:流程图开头可用 illustrate the process of doing something;overview 可写 the whole process consists of two main sequential phases;所有图中信息都要写,不能漏太阳、温度、尺寸、时间、包装等细节;流程图主要用一般现在时被动语态
Mobile phones and internet can be of great help to older people, but they are the group least likely to use them. In what ways can this technology help old people?(雅思写作问题解决/帮助方式题):用于讲解审题、帮助分类、老年人科技相关词汇和解决方案段。
Many students find it harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in school. Why does this happen? How can this be solved?(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解大学学习适应、自主学习、课程难度和学校支持类对策。
Nowadays people spend a great deal of time sitting, leading to health problems. Why does this happen? What are the best ways to encourage people to sit less?(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解久坐生活方式、现代科技原因、健康问题词汇和现实可行的解决方案。
In some countries there is not enough recycling of waste materials such as paper, glass and cans.(雅思写作问题解决题):用于讲解垃圾回收不足的原因、发达/发展中国家分类、宣传/技术/法律/经济类对策。
Pineapple growing and pineapple products flow chart(雅思小作文流程图):用于讲解流程图开头、overview、一般现在时被动语态、步骤顺序和图中信息全覆盖。