返回Jason学习空间

写作 · 2026-06-26

Jason同学的课程学习报告

雅思写作问题解决类提纲：从具体例子上升到抽象分类，并练习老年人与科技题、久坐题、回收题和流程图写法。

学员：Jason同学 老师：Miya老师 课型：群课05 主题：雅思写作问题解决类提纲、抽象分类、老年人与科技题、流程图写法

课后复习模块

练过的材料

  • Mobile phones and internet can be of great help to older people, but older people are the group least likely to use them. In what ways can this technology help old people?（雅思大作文问题解决类/帮助类题目）：用于 Jason 的提纲讲解，重点训练审题、分类和例子归纳。
  • Many students find it harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in school. Why does this happen? How can this be solved?（雅思大作文原因解决类题目）：用于拓展讲解大学学习困难的原因和外部解决办法。
  • Nowadays people spend a great deal of time sitting leading to health problems. Why does this happen? What are the best ways to encourage people to sit less?（雅思大作文原因解决类题目）：用于讲解久坐题的题目改写、原因段和解决办法。
  • In some countries there is not enough recycling of waste materials such as paper, glass and cans.（雅思大作文回收不足题）：用于讲解发达国家/发展中国家的原因分类和解决办法展开。
  • Pineapple growing and pineapple products flow chart（雅思小作文流程图）：用于讲解流程图开头改写、overall、步骤描述和被动语态。

词汇和表达

  • resolve problems：解决问题，比 solve problems 更高级
  • elderly / the elderly：老年人，较礼貌正式
  • senior citizens：年长者，长者
  • retirees：退休人员
  • 用于概括科技帮助老人解决交通、医疗、支付等生活问题。；处理日常问题
  • 用于概括老人用手机查天气、菜谱、养生知识等。；能够获取信息

纠错重点

  • {"rawOrIssue": "直接罗列扫码乘车、挂号、缴费、购物等很多例子。", "correctedOrAdvice": "先抽象分类，再举例：例如 address daily issues 和 search for information。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "雅思作文喜欢从抽象到具体；没有分类会像一盘散沙。", "sourceEvidence": "咱必须得先哎抽象的分个类"}
  • {"rawOrIssue": "把查询信息放在解决问题前面。", "correctedOrAdvice": "先写更重要的解决问题，再写顺便查询信息。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "写作顺序要体现重要性，永远先写更重要的内容。", "sourceEvidence": "应该先是解决问题然后顺便还可以查询一些信息"}
  • {"rawOrIssue": "menu 用来表示菜谱。", "correctedOrAdvice": "菜谱应写 recipe；menu 是餐厅点菜菜单。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "menu 是外出点菜看到的菜单，recipe 是做菜步骤。", "sourceEvidence": "菜谱menu不对...recipe不是menu吗那个menu是你出去点菜的时候"}
  • {"rawOrIssue": "old people / die old", "correctedOrAdvice": "正式写作中用 elderly / the elderly / senior citizens。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "old people 语气可能不礼貌，elderly 更尊重。", "sourceEvidence": "old people...非常不礼貌...elderly the elderly就一下就感觉非常非常的尊重"}
  • {"rawOrIssue": "减少难度。", "correctedOrAdvice": "英文写 lower the difficulty，不写 reduce difficulty。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "difficulty 是高低概念，用 lower 搭配更自然。", "sourceEvidence": "难度不能减少难度只能降低...lower the difficulty"}
  • {"rawOrIssue": "线下保留传统服务作为鼓励老人用手机的解决办法。", "correctedOrAdvice": "这一点和鼓励老人使用手机关系不强，可以不作为核心论证。", "reasonOrMemoryTip": "题目问如何让老人用科技，保留线下服务不直接推动他们使用科技。", "sourceEvidence": "线下保留传统服务其实这个跟我们的论证是没有关系的"}

可回读产出

  • 本节课写作文章改进版：Mobile phones and internet can help elderly people：Main idea 1: Mobile phones and the internet can help elderly people address daily issues, especially medical, transport, payment and shopping problems. For example, they can make an appointment with a doctor online, use mobile payment to pay utility bills, scan codes for public transport, and buy daily goods online. Main idea 2: They can also help the elderly have access to useful information. For example, elderly people can check the weather forecast, read recipes, and learn how to maintain good health. Solution idea 1: Platforms should make apps more elderly-friendly. They can provide a senior mode, larger font sizes, louder volume, simpler procedures, fewer pop-up advertisements, and fewer useless notifications. This can lower the difficulty and reduce disturbance. Solution idea 2: Family members, especially younger members in the family, can teach basic operations step by step. They can start with phone calls, voice messages, mobile payment and making an appointment with a doctor. They should offer more encouragement and less criticism.；How technology helps elderly people：Mobile phones and the internet can mainly help elderly people address daily issues. For example, online hospital services allow them to make an appointment with a doctor without waiting in a long queue. Mobile payment also enables them to pay utility bills and buy daily goods more conveniently. In addition, public transport apps can help them scan codes and travel around the city more easily. Apart from solving these practical problems, this technology also gives the elderly access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and advice on how to maintain good health.
  • IELTS Writing Task 2 partial draft：Mobile phones and the internet can mainly help elderly people address daily issues. For example, online hospital services allow them to make an appointment with a doctor without waiting in a long queue. Mobile payment also enables them to pay utility bills and buy daily goods more conveniently. In addition, public transport apps can help them scan codes and travel around the city more easily. Apart from solving these practical problems, this technology also gives the elderly access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and advice on how to maintain good health.；To encourage elderly people to use this technology, platforms should first make their apps more elderly-friendly. For instance, they can design a senior mode with larger font sizes, louder volume and simpler procedures. They should also reduce pop-up advertisements and useless notifications, because these may disturb elderly users and make the apps harder to use. Turning to family members, younger people in the family can teach basic operations step by step, such as making phone calls, sending voice messages, using mobile payment and making an appointment with a doctor. More encouragement and less criticism can make elderly people more willing to practise these skills.

课后动作

  • 把 Jason 的老年人与科技题按“先抽象分类，再具体举例”的方式重写提纲。
  • 整理并背诵本节课老年人与科技题相关表达。
  • 课后至少打一遍菠萝流程图示范作文或步骤句。

一、课堂推进时间轴

1

审题：老年人与手机网络题

课堂推进：老师先带 Jason 判断题目问的是科技可以怎样帮助老年人，不是问老年人为什么不用科技。

老师处理：老师解释题干 mobile phones and internet can be of great help to older people，但 older people least likely to use them，并指出问题是 in what ways can this technology help old people。

学生原始输出：扫码乘车、线上挂号就医、手机缴费、预约政务服务、不用跑腿排队、手机查天气、看菜谱、学习养生知识、智能家电的联动操作。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师提醒不能一口气罗列用途，要先把例子归类；可分为解决日常问题和获取信息。

复习抓手：先判断题目问法：不是成因，而是科技能带来哪些帮助；雅思写作要先抽象分类，再给具体例子；in what ways 可以理解为要求写不同类型的帮助

2

主体段一：帮助分类与重要性排序

课堂推进：老师把 Jason 的例子整理成更清楚的两类，并强调重要的内容先写。

老师处理：老师引导 Jason 把线上挂号就医、扫码乘车、手机缴费、线上购物等归入解决问题，把查天气、看菜谱、养生知识归入获取信息。

学生原始输出：扫码乘车、线上挂号就医、手机缴费、预约政务服务、在线购物、省去奔波劳累、手机查天气、看菜谱、学习养生知识、智能家电。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师示范：first, technology helps elderly people address daily issues; second, it helps them search for information / have access to information。老师还指出应先写更重要的解决问题，再写查询信息。

复习抓手：solve problems 可以升级为 resolve problems；处理问题可以说 address daily issues；获取信息可以说 have access to information；重要性排序：先写更重要、更常见的点

3

词汇：老年人和生活科技表达

课堂推进：老师补充了老年人、线上服务、智能家居等相关表达，帮助学生把中文例子转成可写的英文。

老师处理：老师讲解 elderly, senior citizens, retirees, pensioners, mobile payment, utility bills, recipe, smart domestic appliances 等表达。

学生原始输出：old people / die old；menu；手机缴费；缴水电燃气费；智能家电。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师纠正 old people 语气不礼貌，建议用 elderly / the elderly / senior citizens；menu 是餐厅菜单，菜谱应为 recipe。

复习抓手：old people 语气偏粗糙，正式写作用 elderly / the elderly；recipe 是菜谱，menu 是餐厅菜单；水电燃气账单可以总称 utility bills；智能家电可以说 smart domestic appliances

4

主体段二：如何鼓励老年人使用科技

课堂推进：老师引导学生把解决办法按责任方分类：平台先做适老化设计，家人再提供耐心教学，老人也可以逐步尝试。

老师处理：老师要求 Jason 不要只写具体措施，而要先概括解决角度；老师强调解决问题时要向外归因，先考虑平台和家人能做什么。

学生原始输出：开启长辈模式、调大字体、高音量、长辈模式、极简模式、关闭弹窗广告、无用推送、减少操作难度与干扰；家人从最简单操作教起，先学打电话、发语音、付款、挂号，反复实操，多鼓励少指责。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师示范平台可以 make apps more elderly-friendly, lower the difficulty and reduce disturbance；家人可以 teach basic operations step by step and offer more encouragement and less criticism。

复习抓手：解决问题类作文可按责任方分类；平台 platform 最有能力先改变产品设计；family members / young members in the family 可帮助老人学习；lower the difficulty 是降低难度，不说 reduce difficulty

5

词义辨析：干扰、打断、麻烦

课堂推进：老师围绕减少干扰这一表达，讲解了 disturb, interrupt, disrupt, bother, harassment 的区别。

老师处理：老师用课堂说话、装修声音、注意力被扰乱、请别人帮忙等例子区分几个近义词。

学生原始输出：关闭弹窗广告、无用推送、减少操作难度与干扰。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师建议这里用 reduce disturbance / prevent disturbance；interrupt 是打断对话，disturb 是干扰，disrupt 是扰乱稳定，bother 是麻烦别人，harassment 是骚扰。

复习抓手：disturb：干扰，不一定直接互动；interrupt：打断正在进行的交流；disrupt：扰乱原有稳定状态；bother：麻烦别人做事；harassment：骚扰，语义更严重

6

写作方法总结：先抽象后具体

课堂推进：老师反复强调写作文必须先给出总体分类或概述，再展开具体例子，否则文章会像一盘散沙。

老师处理：老师总结 Jason 的提纲问题：例子很多但缺少抽象概括，需要先写总线索再举例。

学生原始输出：一大堆具体例子：扫码乘车、线上挂号、缴费、购物、智能家电、长辈模式等。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师示范可先用 platforms / family members / elderly people 三个角度概括，再分别展开细节。

复习抓手：不要一上来就堆例子；先给总体概括，再举例；每段要有清晰分类线索

7

拓展练习：大学学习困难题

课堂推进：老师借 Eric 的题讲解问题解决类作文中原因和解决办法要对应，且不要只让学生自己解决问题。

老师处理：老师分析大学学习变难的原因：大学要求更强自律和学术自主性，课程更专业、更抽象、知识量更大；解决办法应由学校、高中或大学提供支持。

学生原始输出：学习自主性提高；中学有老师全程监督、固定作业、反复刷题；大学几乎全靠自学；学生提升自律能力；学校提供更多学术支持。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师纠正“学习自主性提高”听起来像能力进步，应写大学教育要求更强 self-discipline / academic autonomy；解决办法不应只写学生自己提升，而应写学校提供 workshops, office hours, tutors, writing centers。

复习抓手：self study 是自学，不等于自主学习；self-discipline 是自律；academic autonomy 是学习自主性；解决问题要向外归因，设计支持系统

8

拓展练习：久坐题

课堂推进：老师借 Lucas 的题讲解如何改写题目、补充现代科技原因，并避免把影响写进原因段。

老师处理：老师讲解 sedentary lifestyle, excessive assignments, fatigue, vicious cycle 等表达，并指出健康问题属于结果，不应放在原因段。

学生原始输出：过量的工作和学习任务导致每日久坐；缺乏运动量导致高血压、血糖、心血管疾病；肌肉萎缩、腿部肌肉萎缩；政府出台政策减少每日工作量；学校和公司设置奖励。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师示范：lead a sedentary lifestyle; excessive assignments require lengthy sitting; fatigue makes people remain seated, forming a vicious cycle。老师提醒可以写社交媒体、交通科技让人更久坐。

复习抓手：sedentary lifestyle：久坐不动的生活方式；excessive：过量的；fatigue：疲劳；vicious cycle：恶性循环；原因段只分析原因，不写影响

9

拓展练习：回收不足题

课堂推进：老师借 Road 的题讲解如何分开发达国家和发展中国家原因，并强调解决办法不能虎头蛇尾。

老师处理：老师分析回收不足原因：发达国家人力成本高、轻工业不完整、消费者担心回收品质量；发展中国家缺少垃圾分类和可持续意识。老师补充宣传、技术、法律、税收和补贴等解决办法。

学生原始输出：发达国家缺少回收是因为人力成本比原材料成本大很多；轻工业产品如玻璃瓶是进口的；人们不愿意购买回收生产的商品；发展中国家虽然人力便宜但缺少意识；政府宣传、引进技术、制定法规、减免税收、提供补贴。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师示范 labor costs significantly exceed raw materials; established corporations prioritize profits over environmentally friendly recycling; government can put up posters, distribute brochures, invite specialists to hold lectures, offer free consultation。

复习抓手：labor cost：人力成本；raw materials：原材料；prioritize A over B：更重视 A 而不是 B；affordable and durable：价格可承受且耐用；tax incentives：税收优惠；subsidies：政府补贴

10

流程图写法：菠萝种植和加工

课堂推进：课末老师补充雅思小作文流程图写法，讲解开头改写、overall 模板、一般现在时被动语态和步骤衔接。

老师处理：老师用菠萝流程图讲解 flow chart / diagram, illustrate, process of doing, how something is done, sequential phases, 一般现在时被动语态，以及 after which / then + past participle / before being done 等连接方法。

学生原始输出：pineapple；diagram；flow chart；how pineapple are grown；process of preparing pineapple products；mature / develop / reproduce；30 degree；mass。

老师示范 / 修改方向：老师纠正 how pineapples are grown；提醒 23-30 degrees Celsius、26 cm spacing、seven months、five months later、30 cm、2 kg、washed, categorized, peeled, cored, extracted, packed 等图中信息都要写。

复习抓手：流程图常用一般现在时被动语态；图中所有可见信息都尽量写进作文；diagram 和 flow chart 可以互换；after which 可连接下一个步骤；不知道具体容器名称时可用 container

二、本节课亮点表现

Jason 本节课的重点问题是：例子很多，但需要先有抽象分类，再展开具体例子。

老师重点训练了“重要内容先写”的逻辑顺序，例如老年人使用科技时，应先写解决医疗、出行、支付等重要问题，再写查天气、看菜谱等信息查询。

课堂补充了大量可直接用于雅思写作的表达，如 address daily issues（处理日常问题）、elderly-friendly（老年友好的）、utility bills（水电燃气等账单）、sedentary lifestyle（久坐不动的生活方式）。

课末补充了流程图小作文的基本写法：开头改写、overall 总览、一般现在时被动语态和步骤连接。

三、本节课用了哪些材料

四、学生课堂输出

Jason 老年人与科技题：帮助例子

扫码乘车、线上挂号就医、手机缴费、预约政务服务、不用跑腿排队、手机查天气、看菜谱、学习养生知识、智能家电的联动操作。

Jason 老年人与科技题：平台措施

开启长辈模式、调大字体、有高音量、有长辈模式极简模式、关闭弹窗广告、无用推送、减少操作难度与干扰。

Jason 老年人与科技题：家人措施

从最简单的操作教起，先学打电话、发语音、付款、挂号，反复实操，多鼓励少指责。

Eric 大学学习困难题

学习自主性提高；中学有老师全程监督固定作业反复刷题；大学几乎全靠自学；学生提升自律能力；学校提供更多学术支持。

Lucas 久坐题

过量的工作和学习任务导致他每日久坐；缺乏运动量导致高血压血糖心外缺；政府出台政策减少每日的工作量；学校可以发放设定奖励。

Road 回收题

发达国家缺少回收是因为人力成本比原材料的成本大很多；轻工业的产品比如玻璃瓶等等都是进口的；人还不愿意购买回收生产的商品；发展中国家虽然人力便宜但缺少意识。

五、本节课写作文章改进版

按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版；逐字稿提供了 Jason 题纲思路和老师修改方向，但没有完整课堂定稿，因此以下为基于课堂证据整理的改进版。

Essay Plan

Main idea 1: Mobile phones and the internet can help elderly people address daily issues, especially medical, transport, payment and shopping problems. For example, they can make an appointment with a doctor online, use mobile payment to pay utility bills, scan codes for public transport, and buy daily goods online. Main idea 2: They can also help the elderly have access to useful information. For example, elderly people can check the weather forecast, read recipes, and learn how to maintain good health. Solution idea 1: Platforms should make apps more elderly-friendly. They can provide a senior mode, larger font sizes, louder volume, simpler procedures, fewer pop-up advertisements, and fewer useless notifications. This can lower the difficulty and reduce disturbance. Solution idea 2: Family members, especially younger members in the family, can teach basic operations step by step. They can start with phone calls, voice messages, mobile payment and making an appointment with a doctor. They should offer more encouragement and less criticism.

Sample Paragraph 1

Mobile phones and the internet can mainly help elderly people address daily issues. For example, online hospital services allow them to make an appointment with a doctor without waiting in a long queue. Mobile payment also enables them to pay utility bills and buy daily goods more conveniently. In addition, public transport apps can help them scan codes and travel around the city more easily. Apart from solving these practical problems, this technology also gives the elderly access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and advice on how to maintain good health.

Sample Paragraph 2

To encourage elderly people to use this technology, platforms should first make their apps more elderly-friendly. For instance, they can design a senior mode with larger font sizes, louder volume and simpler procedures. They should also reduce pop-up advertisements and useless notifications, because these may disturb elderly users and make the apps harder to use. Turning to family members, younger people in the family can teach basic operations step by step, such as making phone calls, sending voice messages, using mobile payment and making an appointment with a doctor. More encouragement and less criticism can make elderly people more willing to practise these skills.

六、本节课纠错

原句问题推荐表达记忆方法

七、定稿作文 / 改写方向

IELTS Writing Task 2 partial draft partial_class_supported_review_version

Mobile phones and the internet can mainly help elderly people address daily issues. For example, online hospital services allow them to make an appointment with a doctor without waiting in a long queue. Mobile payment also enables them to pay utility bills and buy daily goods more conveniently. In addition, public transport apps can help them scan codes and travel around the city more easily. Apart from solving these practical problems, this technology also gives the elderly access to useful information, such as weather forecasts, recipes and advice on how to maintain good health.

To encourage elderly people to use this technology, platforms should first make their apps more elderly-friendly. For instance, they can design a senior mode with larger font sizes, louder volume and simpler procedures. They should also reduce pop-up advertisements and useless notifications, because these may disturb elderly users and make the apps harder to use. Turning to family members, younger people in the family can teach basic operations step by step, such as making phone calls, sending voice messages, using mobile payment and making an appointment with a doctor. More encouragement and less criticism can make elderly people more willing to practise these skills.

八、课后任务

九、方法和词汇

方法总结

  • 先抽象后具体
  • 重要性排序
  • 问题解决类向外归因
  • 原因和解决办法长度匹配
  • 流程图用一般现在时被动语态
  • 流程图步骤连接

补充词汇

  • tertiary education：高等教育/大学教育
  • freshman：大一新生
  • sophomore：大二学生
  • juniors / seniors：大三 / 大四学生
  • cardiovascular diseases：心血管疾病
  • diabetes：糖尿病
  • hypertension：高血压
  • contaminated：被污染的
  • legislative measures：法律手段
  • tax incentives：税收优惠