练过的材料
- 大作文题目：动物灭绝是自然过程，人类没有理由阻止
- 大作文题目：所有国家都应立即减少能源消耗
- 小作文：四个机场乘客出行目的饼图（图表）
- 小作文：各年龄段居民消费支出柱图（图表）
- 小作文：2004/2009 交通方式饼图（图表）
写作 · 2026-02-08
雅萱同学的课程学习报告
雅思写作：大作文动物灭绝观点论证 + 静态饼图/柱图小作文
课后复习模块
词汇和表达
- 分布/构成
- 过去某年的主要目的/旅行的主要目的
- 占5%
- 偷猎/非法捕猎
- Although it is a natural process of animal species to become extinct, there is still reason for people to prevent this from happening in certain cases.
- This does not mean that there is no reason for human beings to step in.
纠错重点
- 开头段只复述题目、未明确观点；Although it is a natural process of animal species to become extinct, there is still reason for people to prevent this from happening in certain cases.
- 主体段未先回答核心问题；It is primarily due to the fact that some extinctions are linked to human activities, and protecting animals also safeguards human interests.
- 时态用 is 描述 2016 年数据；Overall, travelling for a holiday was the dominant purpose.
- dominant purpose 重复使用、句式单一；The main purpose of travel among travelers departing from Gatwick Airport was to visit friends and relatives.
- made up 重复使用；Business ranked third, accounting for 12%.
- between 用于四者；Business ranked third among these four purposes.
可回读产出
- 本节课写作文章改进版：题目：Some people think that the extinction of animal species is a natural process and there is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
课后动作
- 按课堂方向完成动物灭绝大作文的完整第二稿
- 练习静态饼图 passengers 小作文的改写，注意时态和同义替换
- 尝试写静态柱图 citizen spending 小作文，按最高项分组
- 整理环境类语料：deforestation / habitat loss / fragmentation / disrupt the food chain / poaching / illegal hunting
一、课堂推进时间轴
1
课程计划回顾
课堂推进：复习小作文动图进度，确认本周重点在静态饼图和柱图，静态表格先跳过。
老师处理：说明课程安排：动图已学完，静图刚学饼图，下周继续静态饼图、柱图，节前不讲静态表格。
学生原始输出：学生未直接输出，仅回应确认。
复习抓手：小作文动图已覆盖，静图从饼图开始；静态表格最难，暂时跳过
2
大作文话题切换：环境类
课堂推进：从犯罪话题过渡到环境话题， crime 话题已练完四种问法结构。
老师处理：说明后续不再拆四种问法，改为按话题推进，年前计划过环境和政府/问题解决。
学生原始输出：学生回应确认。
复习抓手：话题从犯罪转到环境；后续按话题积累，不再重复四种题型结构
3
大作文一：审题与开头段修改
课堂推进：针对“动物灭绝是自然过程，人类没有理由阻止”这道题，指出学生开头没有明确回答同意/不同意。
老师处理：指出学生开头用 it is argued that... 复述题目，没有直接亮明观点，导致 Task Response（TR）不好。建议直接表明：是自然过程，但不等于没有理由阻止。
学生原始输出：学生原文开头包含：it is argued that... we'll discuss it and show my opinion。
老师示范 / 修改方向：Although it is a natural process of animal species to become extinct, there is still reason for people to prevent this from happening in certain cases.
复习抓手：agree/disagree 开头必须直接回答观点；不要只复述题目，要在开头段亮明立场
4
大作文一：主体段逻辑补全
课堂推进：老师指出学生第二段没有直接回答“人要不要阻止”，需要先把立场写清楚，再展开原因。
老师处理：要求学生先写 this does not mean that there is no reason for human beings to step in，再展开两个原因：有些灭绝与人类活动有关；保护动物也是保护人类自己。
学生原始输出：学生段落写到：灭绝确实和人类活动有关。
老师示范 / 修改方向：用 it is primarily because... 或 it is primarily due to the fact that... 引出主要原因；两个原因用 and/besides 连接。
复习抓手：主体段先回答核心问题，再给解释；用连接词分层写两个原因
5
大作文一：solution 段落地补全
课堂推进：老师强调只讲好处不够，还要写清楚人能做什么来 prevent 灭绝，否则建议不可实践。
老师处理：给出具体解决方向：减少 poaching（偷猎）/ illegal hunting；政府出台严格法律；公众抵制皮草制品，让非法产品没有销路。
学生原始输出：学生原有内容主要讲灭绝与人类活动有关，缺少具体措施。
老师示范 / 修改方向：预防的最简单措施就是减少 poaching / illegal hunting。政府可出台严格法律禁止偷猎；人们也要抵制皮草制品。
复习抓手：solution 段要写可操作的措施；政府立法 + 公众抵制是常见写法
6
大作文一：自然段论证深化
课堂推进：老师补充“自然灭绝”的两个层次：外部自然变化（气候）和物种自身繁殖困难（适者生存、繁殖方式复杂）。
老师处理：引入 survival of the fittest（适者生存）概念；建议写人类出现前/后都有自然灭绝；举例繁殖方式复杂（如鱼洄游）、繁殖效率低、存活率低。
学生原始输出：学生原文只写了自然过程/气候等原因，缺少深度。
老师示范 / 修改方向：可以写 climate change 导致不适应；种群数量过多后自然消耗；自身 reproduction（繁殖）方式复杂、效率低、survival rate（存活率）低。
复习抓手：自然段不能只写外部原因，要写物种自身原因；适者生存 survival of the fittest 可用于解释自然灭绝
7
大作文一：人为影响段深化
课堂推进：老师指出学生只写捕食不够深入，需要补充间接人为影响：污染、砍伐、栖息地丧失与破碎化。
老师处理：引导学生写农业/工业活动造成的水、土壤、空气污染；deforestation（砍伐森林）导致 loss of habitats（栖息地丧失）和 fragmentation（栖息地破碎化）；举中华鲟、大象、中国鲎等例子说明直接与间接影响。
学生原始输出：学生原文似乎只提到题目里的捕食例子。
老师示范 / 修改方向：除了 hunting，还要写人类活动对栖息地的间接影响； disrupt the food chain（破坏食物链）可作为关键表达。
复习抓手：人为影响分直接和间接；deforestation、habitat loss、fragmentation、food chain 是环境类常用表达
8
大作文二：环境消耗题审题策略
课堂推进：第二道大作文题包含 all countries、act immediately、reduce consumption 等绝对化表达，老师建议“扣字眼”写部分同意。
老师处理：讲解如何对关键词重新解释：reduce 不等于 stop，程度可轻；immediately 可理解为短期内（如十年内）；再反驳“所有国家”和“作用不大”的国家。
学生原始输出：学生在看第二题，尚未完整输出。
老师示范 / 修改方向：可写：同意有些国家应 reduce consumption 且短期内可行；但反对所有国家一概而论，发展中国家缺乏 consumption，替换能源基础设施需要时间。
复习抓手：遇到绝对词（all/immediately）可部分同意；可以对关键词重新解释来支持论点
9
小作文：静态饼图 passengers 修改
课堂推进：修改饼图作文的开头、时态、同义替换、句式变化和例外表达。
老师处理：建议 illustrate 可替换为 show the distribution / break down；proportion 可替换为 distribution；is 改为 was；dominant 改为 main purpose / majority of travelers；加入 with the exception of；指出 Airport 要大写；用 account for / constitute / comprise 替代 made up；避免连续重复句式。
学生原始输出：学生原文：The chart illustrate the proportion of passengers traveling from four... Overall, traveling for a holiday is the dominant purpose...
老师示范 / 修改方向：The chart illustrates the distribution of passengers travelling from four airports. Overall, travelling for a holiday was the dominant purpose, with the exception of...
复习抓手：饼图常用 distribution / break down 替换 proportion；图表是某一年的事实，要用过去时；句式要变化，避免重复 dominant purpose；三个以上用 among，between 只用于两者
10
小作文：静态柱图 citizen spending 讲解
课堂推进：讲解静态柱图的分段与表达方式：按最高项分组，注意这是钱的占比而非人的占比。
老师处理：建议按 food and drink / restaurant and hotel / recreation 等最高项分段；区分 age groups 写法（under 30, 30-45, over 75）；说明这是 percentage of total spending，主语用 majority of money / spending；可用 allocated to / used to purchase；没有 remaining 说法。
学生原始输出：学生初步分段：food and drink 最多一组，restaurant and hotel 最多一组。
老师示范 / 修改方向：可说 the majority of spending was allocated to food and drink；年轻人 spending 较少，older/elderly people spending 较大。
复习抓手：静态柱图按最高项分段；柱图不一定是人的占比，要看 total spending；年龄段表达：under 30 / 30-45 / over 75 / elderly people
11
小作文：动图饼图 mode transport 快速展示
课堂推进：老师展示了一个 2004 和 2009 两年的饼图，建议按两张静图分别写，比写动态变化更容易出彩。
老师处理：说明该图若写动图会内容雷同，建议分别描述两年的 distribution / ranking；可用 followed an even distribution；写第一加第二占比合计。
学生原始输出：学生未完整输出，只是看了一下图。
老师示范 / 修改方向：可分别写 2004 和 2009 两年的排名：the largest category was..., followed by..., representing/constituting/accounting for...%; together, these two categories made up...
复习抓手：两年饼图可改写成两张静图；可写前两名合计占比；represent / constitute / account for 可用于补充数据
二、本节课亮点表现
大作文 agree/disagree 题型开头必须直接回答同意还是不同意
主体段先回答核心问题，再给原因和具体措施
自然灭绝可从外部原因和物种自身繁殖困难两个角度写
人为影响要分直接（偷猎）和间接（污染、砍伐、栖息地破碎化）
小作文静态饼图可用 distribution / break down 替换 proportion，注意过去时态
静态柱图按最高项分组，注意是 spending 的占比而非人数占比
三、本节课用了哪些材料
- 大作文题目：动物灭绝是自然过程，人类没有理由阻止
- 大作文题目：所有国家都应立即减少能源消耗
- 小作文：四个机场乘客出行目的饼图（图表）
- 小作文：各年龄段居民消费支出柱图（图表）
- 小作文：2004/2009 交通方式饼图（图表）
四、学生课堂输出
大作文一开头段
老师指出该写法只适用于 discuss both 题型，agree/disagree 必须在开头明确回答观点。
it is argued that... we'll discuss it and show my opinion
大作文一主体段
学生只解释了原因，没有先回答“人是否应该阻止”。
灭绝确实和人类活动有关。
小作文饼图
存在时态、同义替换和句式单一问题。
The chart illustrate the proportion of passengers traveling from four... Overall, traveling for a holiday is the dominant purpose...
五、本节课写作文章改进版
按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版。课堂未产生完整最终定稿，以下内容根据 Miya 老师当堂讲解的立场、结构和表达整理，供雅萱同学课后复习使用。
题目：Some people think that the extinction of animal species is a natural process and there is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
开头段：
Although it is a natural process of animal species to become extinct, there is still reason for people to prevent this from happening in certain cases.
主体段 1：自然灭绝确实存在
Firstly, extinction has happened throughout history, even before humans appeared. This is mainly because of the law of survival of the fittest, which means species that cannot adapt to the environment will gradually die out. Even after humans appeared, some extinctions were still caused by natural changes such as climate change, rather than by human activities. For example, some animals have very complex ways of reproduction. Some fish must swim long distances to give birth, and many die during the journey. Others produce very few babies and have low survival rates. In these cases, extinction happens naturally without any human hunting.
主体段 2：人类活动也是重要原因
However, this does not mean that there is no reason for human beings to step in. Many extinctions today are directly or indirectly caused by human activities. Directly, people hunt animals for meat, fur or medicine. Poaching and illegal hunting have pushed many species to the edge of extinction. Indirectly, agricultural and industrial activities cause water, soil and air pollution. Deforestation, which is often done to expand farmland, leads to loss of habitats and fragmentation. This means animals lose their homes and cannot find enough food or safe places to reproduce. For example, the Chinese paddlefish has become extinct partly because ships and polluted water blocked its migration route.
主体段 3：我们应该做什么
Therefore, governments and individuals should take action. Governments can introduce strict laws to ban poaching and the trade of illegal animal products. At the same time, ordinary people should refuse to buy products such as fur coats or medicines made from endangered animals. Without demand, these products will have no market. Controlling pollution and protecting natural habitats are also important because the extinction of any species can disrupt the food chain and finally affect human beings ourselves.
结尾段：
In conclusion, while some animal extinctions are natural, human activities have become a major cause today. Since we have the ability and the responsibility to reduce our negative impact, people should take practical steps to prevent more species from disappearing.
六、本节课纠错
| 原句问题 | 推荐表达 | 记忆方法 |
|---|---|---|
| 开头段只复述题目、未明确观点 | ||
| 主体段未先回答核心问题 | ||
| 时态用 is 描述 2016 年数据 | ||
| dominant purpose 重复使用、句式单一 | ||
| made up 重复使用 | ||
| between 用于四者 |
七、定稿作文 / 改写方向
课堂未完成最终定稿 本节课没有完整最终定稿，上表为按课堂讲解整理的复习改进版。
没有足够证据生成完整定稿时，先保留待确认状态。
八、课后任务
- 按课堂方向完成动物灭绝大作文的完整第二稿
- 练习静态饼图 passengers 小作文的改写，注意时态和同义替换
- 尝试写静态柱图 citizen spending 小作文，按最高项分组
- 整理环境类语料：deforestation / habitat loss / fragmentation / disrupt the food chain / poaching / illegal hunting
九、方法和词汇
方法总结
- agree/disagree 开头直接亮明立场
- 主体段用“先回答 + 给原因 + 给措施”三层推进
- 自然灭绝段从“外部自然变化”和“物种自身繁殖困难”两个层次展开
- 人为影响段区分直接影响和间接影响
- 静态饼图用 distribution / break down 替换 proportion，注意过去时
- 静态柱图按最高项分组，注意 total spending 而非人数
- 遇到绝对词 all / immediately 可考虑部分同意并扣字眼解释
补充词汇
- survival of the fittest：适者生存
- poaching：偷猎
- illegal hunting：非法捕猎
- deforestation：森林砍伐
- loss of habitats：栖息地丧失
- fragmentation：栖息地破碎化
- disrupt the food chain：破坏食物链
- distribution：分布
- break down：分解/构成
- account for / constitute / comprise：占（比例）
- allocated to：被分配给