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写作 · 2026-02-01

雅萱同学的课程学习报告

雅思写作 Task 1 动图小作文(动态表格)修改

学员:雅萱同学 老师:Miya老师 课型:正课 主题:雅思动图小作文(动态表格)修改与语法复盘

课后复习模块

练过的材料

  • 动态表格小作文原稿(学生习作):课堂中由雅萱同学完成,涉及四个地点的 visitor 数据变化。
  • 第二个 bar chart(仅开头部分简要点评)(练习图):课堂最后快速指出 there be 句型错误和 places of interest 不加 the。

词汇和表达

  • depict:表格没有“画”,用 illustrate 更安全
  • statistics(正文反复使用):statistics 偏宏观,适合开头;正文报数据用更具体的词
  • in given period:period 是可数名词,不能裸奔;时间段用 during
  • was decreased:不用被动语态
  • The table illustrates changes in ...
  • Four sites showed an increase in the number of visitors, including ...

纠错重点

  • 表格用 depict;depict 适合有“画”的图,表格用 illustrate。
  • there be 后加谓语动词;there be 后不要再出现第二个谓语动词,可改为 -ing 或换主语。
  • in given period;超过一年用 during,且 period 前要加 the。
  • which is / which was 指代混乱;用 including 可避免 be 动词时态和单复数问题。
  • growth of population of visitors;growth in 表示在某方面的增长。
  • visitors in + 景点;to 表终点,for 表目的,in 表长期停留。

可回读产出

  • 本节课写作文章改进版:The table illustrates changes in visitor statistics for four sites during the given period.;Overall, four sites showed an increase in the number of visitors, including A, B and the survey site. The survey, for example, saw its figure rise from 8,400 to 8,900, with a peak at 8,900 in 1996.
  • 雅思 Task 1 小作文(动态表格):The table illustrates changes in visitor statistics for four sites during the given period.;Overall, four sites showed an increase in the number of visitors, including ... The survey saw its figure rise from 8,400 to 8,900, with a peak at 8,900 in 1996.

课后动作

  • 把本节课修改过的动态表格小作文重新誊写一遍,重点检查:时态、介词、冠词、peak/bottom 写法、动词是否重复。
  • 熟记固定搭配:during the given period / a growth in / with a peak at ... in ... / with a bottom at ... in ...
  • 练习用 including 替代 which included/which was,减少 be 动词错误。
  • 复习专有名词加 the 的规则与例外。
  • 完成第二个 bar chart 的开头段改写,注意 there be 后不要出动词。

一、课堂推进时间轴

1

课前热身与题型定位

课堂推进:本节课承接上节课的动图小作文,继续练习动态表格。老师提醒:动图不只限于一种图形,表格、线图、柱图等都可以是动态图;表格属于“裸数据”,需要自己在草稿纸上标出上升、下降和极值点。

老师处理:说明课程安排,强调动态表格需要主动观察数据、先分组再标极值。

复习抓手:动态图(moving chart)包含多种图形;表格没有明显高低,要主动观察;先分组:上升/下降,再标 peak(最高点)和 bottom(最低点)

2

数字规范:千位逗号

课堂推进:老师指出平时写作中超过千位的数字要加逗号,方便读者识别进位;考试中因为是复制粘贴,一般不会出现这个问题。

老师处理:检查学生作文中的数字写法,要求补全逗号。

学生原始输出:学生原稿中数字没有逗号(如 8400、8900 等未按千位分隔)。

老师示范 / 修改方向:超出千位要标逗号,例如 8,400、8,900,帮助读者看出进位。

复习抓手:千位以上数字用逗号分隔;数字格式清晰是标点准确的一部分

3

开头段动词:depicts 还是 illustrates

课堂推进:老师讲解图表作文开头动词:线图、柱图、饼图可用 depict(描绘),但表格没有“画”,不适合用 depict;统一用 illustrate 更安全,地图和流程图也可用 depict。

老师处理:纠正学生开头用 the table depicts,解释 depict 与 illustrate 的区别。

学生原始输出:The table depicts ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:The table illustrates changes in ...

复习抓手:table 不用 depict,用 illustrate;illustrate changes in 是动图通用表达;地图、流程图可用 depict

4

名词表述:statistics / population / number

课堂推进:老师确认 visitor statistics 在开头段可用,但正文报数据时建议换成 number、population 或 figure;population 用于指“人的总体数量”,只要后面接的是人(visitors/students/candidates)就可以用。

老师处理:解释 statistics、population、number 的适用语境,肯定学生“population of visitors”的用法。

学生原始输出:学生用了 visitor statistics、population of visitors、number of visitors 等多种说法。

老师示范 / 修改方向:开头可用 visitor statistics;正文建议用 the number of visitors / the population of visitors / figures。

复习抓手:statistics 是宏观词,适合开头/结尾;body 段落用 number / population / figure 更具体;population 后接人即可

5

语法修正:there be + 动词 / 时态 / 介词

课堂推进:老师指出 there be 句型后不能再出现谓语动词,应改成 -ing 或换主语直接写;全文除开头的 illustrates 外基本用过去时;时间段要用 during the given period,不能省略 the 或用 in。

老师处理:逐句修改学生错误,讲解 there be、时态、冠词、介词搭配。

学生原始输出:There are four sites, shows ... / in given period / which is ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:Four sites showed an increase ... / during the given period / which was / including ...

复习抓手:there be 后避免第二个谓语动词;动图小作文除开头 illustrates 外基本用过去时;时间段用 during the given period,period 是可数名词,不能裸奔

6

句式简化:用 including 替代 which 从句

课堂推进:老师建议用“including + 列举”替代 which included/which was,避免 be 动词的单复数和时态问题,降低出错概率,形成学生自己的模板。

老师处理:引导学生把 which was/which included 改成逗号 + including。

学生原始输出:... which included ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:... including ...

复习抓手:including 比 which included 更不容易错;避免 be 动词 was/were 的单复数问题

7

介词与搭配:growth in / visitors to / visitors for

课堂推进:老师讲解上升/下降搭配 growth in...;游客去某地可用 visitors to(终点)或 visitors for(目的/景点),不要用 visitors in(表示一直待在那里)。

老师处理:解释介词 for、to、in 的区别,并纠正学生原稿中的 growth of。

学生原始输出:... growth of population of visitors / visitors in ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:a growth in the population of visitors to / for ...

复习抓手:growth in + 某方面的增长;visitors to + 城市/终点;visitors for + 具体景点/目的;visitors in 表示长期停留

8

语态与动词选择:避免被动 / 换主语换动词

课堂推进:老师强调 happen/ occur 没有被动语态;描述变化可用主动语态或“变化 + occurred”。同时要避免一段内重复同一个动词,可用 witness(时间作主语)、saw、experienced、occurred 等交替。

老师处理:纠正 was decreased / was happened 等错误,建议用主动表达和动词替换。

学生原始输出:... whose population was decreased / what happened ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:... experienced a decline / a similar slight rise occurred ...

复习抓手:happen / occur 没有被动语态;witness 只能以时间段作主语;同一段内避免动词重复,交替使用 saw / experienced / witnessed / occurred

9

下降段改写与同位语

课堂推进:老师指导学生把“witnessed two sites whose population was decreased”改成“witnessed a decline in the number of visitors to two sites, the C and M”,并加入逗号 + and 连接并列项。

老师处理:示范如何正确表达“两个地点都下降”并添加同位语。

学生原始输出:... witnessed two sites whose population was decreased ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:The given period witnessed a decline in the number of visitors to two sites, the C and M.

复习抓手:witness 只能接一个变化,不能接两个地点;用同位语说明具体是哪两个地点;并列项之间用逗号 + and

10

peak / bottom 的标准写法

课堂推进:老师给出极值点的固定表达:with a peak / bottom at + 数值 + in + 年份,先给数值证明它是极值,再写年份。

老师处理:纠正学生 bottom 前面的介词和顺序错误。

学生原始输出:学生 peak/bottom 写法有误,缺少介词或顺序不对。

老师示范 / 修改方向:with a peak at 8,900 in 1996 / with a bottom at 310 in 2000

复习抓手:peak/bottom 前用 at + 数值;年份前用 in;先数值后年份

11

专有名词前的 the

课堂推进:老师总结专有名词加 the 的规则:由多个普通词组成的人造名胜古迹一般加 the(如 the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square 语境中可加 the);洲名、机场、单字国名一般不加;山脉名称(the Alps, the Himalayas)例外要加。

老师处理:纠正学生地点前加 the 不一致的问题,讲解规则与例外。

学生原始输出:学生地点前 the 有时加有时不加。

老师示范 / 修改方向:the Great Wall / North America / Beijing Capital International Airport / the Alps

复习抓手:人造名胜且由多个普通词构成一般加 the;洲名、机场、单字国名一般不加 the;山脉名称通常加 the

12

第二个图:bar chart 简要点评

课堂推进:课堂最后老师带看第二个图(bar chart),指出 there are two 同样存在 there be 后出动词的问题,并说明 places of interest 不是专有名词,不需要加 the。

老师处理:快速指出第二个图的开头错误并示范更优表达。

学生原始输出:There are two places of interests, attracted ...

老师示范 / 修改方向:From the chart, we can immediately see that there was a downward trend in the number of visitors to two sites.

复习抓手:bar chart 同样适用 there be 后避免谓语动词;places of interest 不是专有名词,不加 the

13

课堂总结与得分预估

课堂推进:老师总结本次习作主要问题:时间介词、全文时态、被动语态误用、the 的用法、变化介词、peak/bottom 写法、动词重复。当前约 6 分,若消灭语法错误可冲 6.5。

老师处理:带领学生复盘高频错误,明确下一步修改方向。

复习抓手:高频错误集中在时态、介词、冠词、语态;内容有 6.5 潜力,语法是提分关键

二、本节课亮点表现

本节课继续练习动图小作文,重点是动态表格。

学习了 illustrate / depict 的区别:表格用 illustrate。

复习了动图全文基本用过去时,只有开头 illustrates 用现在时。

掌握了时间介词:during the given period,不能用 in。

学会了 peak / bottom 的写法:with a peak at 数值 in 年份。

老师指出内容有 6.5 分潜力,语法修正后可提升。

三、本节课用了哪些材料

四、学生课堂输出

开头段

学生最初用 depicts,老师改为 illustrates;并指出 visitor statistics 开头段可用。

The table depicts ... / The table illustrates changes in ... / visitor statistics for ...

概述/主体段

学生出现 there be 后加谓语动词的错误,老师建议改成 Four sites showed... 或 There were four sites showing...

There are four sites, shows ... / four sites showed an increase in statistics ...

下降段

存在 witness 宾语错误、被动语态错误、并列项缺少逗号+and。

witnessed two sites whose population was decreased ...

极值点

缺少 at + 数值 / in + 年份的固定结构。

peak/bottom 写法有误

五、本节课写作文章改进版

按课堂已讲方向整理的课后复习改进版。由于逐字稿未保留完整最终定稿,本文根据老师当堂修改意见和提到的数据(如 8,400→8,900、350→330→310、1996/2000 等)整理而成,供课后复习句式与语法使用。

The table illustrates changes in visitor statistics for four sites during the given period.

Overall, four sites showed an increase in the number of visitors, including A, B and the survey site. The survey, for example, saw its figure rise from 8,400 to 8,900, with a peak at 8,900 in 1996.

By contrast, the given period witnessed a decline in the number of visitors to two sites, the C and M. The C experienced a slight drop in the figure from 350 to 330 and then to 310, with the bottom at 310 in 2000.

In summary, while most sites saw a growth in visitor numbers, the C and M saw a decrease over the three years.

六、本节课纠错

原句问题推荐表达记忆方法
表格用 depictdepict 适合有“画”的图,表格用 illustrate。
there be 后加谓语动词there be 后不要再出现第二个谓语动词,可改为 -ing 或换主语。
in given period超过一年用 during,且 period 前要加 the。
which is / which was 指代混乱用 including 可避免 be 动词时态和单复数问题。
growth of population of visitorsgrowth in 表示在某方面的增长。
visitors in + 景点to 表终点,for 表目的,in 表长期停留。
whose population was decreased / what happenedhappen / occur 无被动,写作中 occur 更正式。
peak/bottom 写法不完整at + 数值,in + 年份,先数值后年份。
专有名词前 the 时有时无人造名胜多词构成加 the;洲名、机场、单字国名一般不加;山脉通常加 the。
witnessed 重复使用witness 只能以时间段作主语,且同段避免重复。

七、定稿作文 / 改写方向

雅思 Task 1 小作文(动态表格) 按课堂讲解整理改进版,非课堂最终定稿

The table illustrates changes in visitor statistics for four sites during the given period.

Overall, four sites showed an increase in the number of visitors, including ... The survey saw its figure rise from 8,400 to 8,900, with a peak at 8,900 in 1996.

By contrast, the given period witnessed a decline in the number of visitors to two sites, the C and M. The C experienced a slight drop from 350 to 330 and then to 310, with the bottom at 310 in 2000.

八、课后任务

九、方法和词汇

方法总结

  • 先分组上升/下降,再在草稿纸上标出 peak 和 bottom。
  • there be 句型后避免第二个谓语动词,可改为 -ing 或换主语。
  • 用 including 代替 which included/which was,降低时态错误。
  • 同一段内交替使用不同动词(witness / saw / experienced / occurred),避免重复。
  • 写完一句检查一句:时态、介词、冠词、单复数。

补充词汇

  • illustrate:(用图表/数据)说明、解释;The table illustrates changes in ...
  • depict:描绘,通常用于有图形的图;The line graph depicts ...
  • peak:最高点、峰值;with a peak at 8,900 in 1996
  • bottom:最低点、谷底;with a bottom at 310 in 2000
  • witness:见证,通常以时间段作主语;The given period witnessed a decline ...
  • occur:发生,学术写作中较正式;A similar slight rise occurred ...
  • during the given period:在给定时间段内;during the given period / during the given period of time